Its 12:24am, the sky is dark, and the stars are like fairy lights. Dancing across the dark black sky. The room around me is quiet and I can only feel the heavy comforter on top of my chest. The music is blasting in my ears, the notes dancing in my head. the comforter starts to gets heavier. My lungs start to compact like they are getting smaller, I can't breath. The air is getting thinner. I'm drowning. I'm falling deeper into the deep ocean.
deeper.
and deeper.
and deeper
my anxiety is eating me alive. all I want to do is cry, but I can't. My emotions are strapped to the sky, i'm staring at them helpless. i can't control my own body. my lungs felt heavy again, and I couldn't breathe. my eyes are getting blacker, I'm withering away like a flower on a cold winter day.
my mom comes in early morning, 5:04am. I must have passed out last night. She shook me up, but I could barely move my arms. Ropes are holding them down. I hear the door shut, and the ropes go loose. I flew up and fall out of bed. I stand up, using the bed as support. my legs aren't working right, they are numb and are bent 7 different ways. I started walking, using the bed as support. when I reached my hand out for the dresser, I opened the drawer and grabbed my jeans quickly. I put them on, switching hands to keep myself up. my legs still barely worked. I grabbed a silky navy sweater and white ripped tee on top of the dresser, and quickly slid them on. i slid my clothes on my burrow aside to grab my phone. I clicked on the Lock Screen, "March 30th, 5:17am, %98 charged" I grabbed my headphones that were next to it and slid them on one-handed. I messed around with them a little switching hands so I wouldn't fall, until I finally got them feeling comfortable. i went to the doorway, grabbing objects around me for support before I fell out of my room. My mom came down the hall and asked if I was okay, then lended one-hand, she was holding a towel on her hair hoping it would dry faster. She helped me get down the stairs and I could feel my face heat up, my eyes get watery, and sweat cling to my skin. I didn't know why I was feeling these things, but my head started to hurt and vision kept going blurry. She put me down on the couch and ran up the stairs to finish drying her hair. I started to tear up. "what's happening to me..?" I mumbled. My voice was shaky and crackly, even with a a low voice. My mom came down hearing my sorrow cries, she tucked a soft matted blanket over my body, I looked up at her deep dark brown eyes, She seemed worried before saying, "Stay home today, okay? You seem tired and weak, maybe you have a fever." "Okay mom, but-" I tried responding but she cut me off saying "Stop. Your staying home and that's final. I'll ask Nell to come over okay?" "okay" I said weakly. mom was a nurse so she was always over protective about me. with everything that's happened in the past, she knows my physical health is weak and my mental health is worse. My face started to heat up again, and I was fighting to hold back my tears. My mom got up from my face and her black flattops clicked as she walked away to the door. Slam! The garage door slammed shut, I grabbed my phone on a put on "Moral of the story" by Ashe. i haven't heard anything on before anyways. I looked through a playlist, adding songs on queue so I wouldn't have to later. I then opened "messages" then texted Nell.
