A story that never have an ending..
A wall so high until love could not pass it..
A broken romance...
Between two souls and two hearts.. Aims to different heavens..
In a place where all faith becomes a problem of unity and love..
A story between E. S and B. R. N. L
The first poem i ever write to her.. To describe her..
Reta 24 apr 1997
Matamu penuh letih
Hati berdarah tak berhenti
Terpatri dalam masa lalu
Berpaku pandang pada rasa yg telah berlalu
Itu lah dirimu..
Senyum kuatmu tak bermakna
Karena itu hanya topeng belaka
Sembunyi lukamu
Tapi tetap kurasa dan ku tau
Datangmu menjadi dilema
Rasa yg indah kau ukir pada hadirmu
Tapi ku menitih air mata
Sebab carut marut sukmaku padamu.
Ku ingin berlari padamu
Tapi beda ini menahanku
Hanya ingin kurasa bersama ini
Sambil berbisik pada tanah agar tak pergi.
Bukan paras alasanku jatuh
Namun sebab luka yg tak kunjung sembuh
Ku ingin menjadi obatmu
Namun ku takut akan diri jika ku malah menjadi sakitmu.
22 May 2022
I found a beautiful pair of eyes
Starring towards me in the middle of the night
Hold my hand so tight til i lose my mind.
But today i was feeling weird
A breeze of air around me feel so cold and misty
A warmness inside that i ever felt before lit my self back to life
The way she talks
The way she smiles
It feels like i want to protect her from anything…
23 May 2022
Today i finally meet her and went to my office together..
She was so shy when she talks about her family but i feel so calm with her
Just holding her hands make me want to love and open this dead heart again..
But will i be good enough?
Could i hold the darkness of my past?
Could i prevent the monster that lurking within my soul?
Will i be drag down into the river of darkness?
Will i be trash into the emptiness again?
Oh Lord please? Give me a break
Why would i fall for another woman again?
This heart and soul could not take anymore damage..
Will she be mine forever?
Will i die within her arms?
Is she the one that You sent for me Lord?
My head is dizzy and wanting for Explaination.
I lost count on the dates
I don't when i wrote this in my little book.
Out of my frustration..
