Anger
My biggest enemy is myself
Cause I hate myself accordingly
I am so faithful to the one I love yet I always forget my own happiness
I don't care about my pain not anymore.
When I do fall in love I do the binding of my own nature
Because my love is already drained
My mind is full of you..
That is why I easily getting angry at someone I love
I just don't want to see the person that I care so much fall into the wrong edge of life..
My anger is bigger than anything that I ever have in this life
I want to tame this reckless heart
But what can I do ?
To supress it ?
I just want to hold it till the end of my life so you won't have to see the nature of myself. Cause you will hate me for it
Faithfull
My faithfulness always at the fullest when I am with someone that I love..
But my fear is always getting betray by them.
I cannot describe how much I love you and care for you
I don't have any measureent on how I fall so deep in you
But the deeper the badder..
Sometimes I really want to be a normal person
But I can't..
When I am with you I fight all of my old self just to make you stay with me..
My only thoughts when I am with you is i want to protect you from all odds..
Changing your wrong perspective of the world to make you to be a better person.
Guide you to the right place
But I fill myself with loads of sins
I am sorry if I am too harsh when I have to teach you. I only want you to go to the right place. -)
The feeling
A subdue feeling that never there before
A surpressed feeling that I never felt before just to hold on something or someone..
I used to be a bitter man but now I am a depressed one
I really one to have you for eternity but how can I ?
Where this is going ?
I don't know I just want to be a perfect man for you
A man that will be there for your lowest and hardest point
A man that will take all responsibility on your shoulder..
A man who submit and loyal to you
Although I lied to myself about my feeling
I hate my old self just to love you
I am changing just to be like you wanted
So the pain will be surpressed..
But when I just imagine about not being with you
It cuts every edge of thin happiness that I have.
Betrayal
The only thing or act that I am afraid of is the feeling of betrayal...
I become so posesif because deep down I know I have to submit to you..
All of that because I know you own my heart
I already give all of this feeling to you..
I hope you understand every sentence and every last words of it..
I know your life has been very messy since you become mine..
But it was not mine..
You are not mine
You are still God's creation
And His own belongings
Secret poem (hehe)
i loveth the eyes of thy
the misprise in myself killeth ev'ry edge of being in this heart
lips yond art quite quaint
ev'ry w'rds yond cometh out from t maketh me falleth day by day
the meeting between me and thee wast nev'r enow
saveth thee from anyone but couldst not saveth thee from mine own owneth Flibbertigibbet
i square this soul from all ill
just to loveth thee bett'r
to proveth yond this heart misseth thee from ev'ry angel
i rath'r square mine own owneth Flibbertigibbet and angel
nay matt'r how tough mine own square shall beest
but i still struggle to not to did hurt thee.
at which hour i nimble-footed at thee i feeleth so t'rrible
killeth mine own owneth self to maketh t dependable
this humour of loveth is despicable
i desire our mem'ry shall beest indestructible
B.R.N.L
Netro (Mata)
wonten lebet raos wonten criyos
- di dalam rasa terdapat cerita
ingkang kula mboten ngertos wonten punapa wonten lebetipun
-yang ku tak tahu ada apa di dalamnya
wonten inggil angen kula criyos
-di atas angan ku bercerita
bab agengipun raos
- tentang besarnya rasa
nanging puniku wangsul lan ngajak kula wangsu
- namun itu kembali dan mengajakku kembali
ing logika lan pemikiran mboten gadhah artos
- pada logika dan pemikiran tak berarti
amargi kula mboten saged mboten midhereki manah
- karena ku tak bisa tak menuruti hati
nate kerasa matinipun manah
- pernah kurasa mati nya hati
ndamel kula mlampah tanpa arah
- membuat ku berjalan tanpa arah
kula pados remenipun dhiri lebet raga
- ku cari senangnya diri dalam raga
nanging tetep harapipun kula mboten ngarah
- namun tetap harapku tak mengarah
perihipun mboten kula raos
- perihnya tak ku rasa
amargi tresna lebet dhadha ingkang mboten terbendung logika
- karena cinta dalam dada yang tak terbendung logika
ingkang kutanyakan naming punapa mangke
- yang kutanyakan hanya akankah
kula kagungan takutipun kula
- ku punya takutku
nanging kula copot ragunipun kula
- namun ku lepas raguku
naming kagem saged menyandingipun jenengan
- hanya untuk bisa menyandingmu
lebeting wekdal ingkang mboten nate terduga
- dalam waktu yang tak pernah terduga.
naming Gusti ingkang ngertos kita ajeng dhateng pundi
- hanya Tuhan yang tau kita akan kemana
kula nyukani panggalih lan jiwa dhateng panjenenganipun lan kula pasrahaken dhiri lan sedayanipun marang gusti
- ku serahkan hati dan jiwa pada Nya dan kupasrahkan diri dan seluruh nya pada Nya
