Freen&Becky (I need you more than I want to) S2

Home is anywhere with you

FREEN'S POV

I thought she was joking but she really left. She left to Bangkok to be with her parents.

And there was nothing I could have done.

I can't leave the set at that crucial time. We were in the middle of shooting the finale of "WHAT IS WRONG IS RIGHT" and so I couldn't just run off to Becky.

I called her severally all through the night but she was gone.

I sat down there in the hotel's hallways calling Becky to apologize but this time, I could feel our connection being severed.

I could feel that Becky was leaving me. I couldn't stop but cry my heart out.

She was right. I'm such an idiot. She came to spend time with me but I was paying more attention to Kao all through the day.

Because I didn't want Kao to feel like I was pushing her away as per Becky's instructions, I decided to hold Kao close and now Becky has left.

I don't have feelings for Kao. Not even when I was having sex with her but I also understand why Becky was feeling insecured.

She was just really scared of loosing me.

After all we've been through, I still let someone come in between Becky and I.

During the last two days of filming, I called Becky, texted and apologize in every possible way that I could but she never responded to any of my texts or voicemails.

Finally, we were done with shooting "WHAT IS WRONG IS RIGHT" and I quickly hurried down to Bangkok.

I didn't even wait for the celebratory party. I was too worried about Becky to celebrate.

When I got to Bangkok, I went to Becky's house immediately from the airport.

When I got there, I was expecting some type of resistance from David or Mrs Malee.

But David just welcomed me into the house.

I guess the events of Becky leaving home for months finally brought them to their senses.

They have finally accepted me as Becky's lover. This made things even easier for me.

I didn't have to start trying to convince Becky's family about our relationship anymore.

"Becky, Freen is here to see you" David yelled out from downstairs to Becky who was in her room.

She didn't respond. Would she really not even talk to me now?

I went upstairs and knocked on her door and she opened the door for me to come inside.

"Becky I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ignore you and make you feel like I was giving Kao more attention than you.

I'm an idiot. You came all the way from Chidlom to see me and I was paying more attention to Kao.

I was trying to please Kao by carrying her along and making her feel like she wasn't a third wheel, thereby making you the third wheel.

I was paying too much attention to how Kao would feel that I became totally ignorant of your feelings.

But that would never happen again. I promise you that I'll never do that again. I'll do whatever you ask me to do. Just please don't leave me.

Becky, I love you. Frankly, if there's anything greater than love, that is what I have for you.

I'm on my knees begging. Please Becky, forgive me and I promise I'll never be friends with Kao anymore, if that's what you want."

Putting myself in Becky's shoes, I came to an understanding of how she must feel about my relationship with Kao.

YES, it's true that I don't have feelings for Kao and she's nothing but a friend.  But this is a friend that I had sex with.

A friend that for a split second, I was considering to have, if I couldn't have Becky.

A friend that told me that she had feelings for me. No!! I'm positive that she still has feelings for me.

If Becky was the one in such a friendship with a woman that she had slept with, I would go insane thinking that Becky was still cheating on me with her.

I would be convinced that Becky was sharing our love with that woman and that I'd one day lose Becky to that woman.

And so, I'd never allow them to even be on speaking terms talk less of allowing them to remain friends.

So I can understand why Becky wanted me away from kao. And I'll do just that.

If it's choosing between Becky and Kao, I'd always and forever choose Becky to stay by my side over Kao.

I knelt down at the edge of the bed holding Becky's hands who was sitting on the bed.

She stared at me me for a while being quiet. I could tell that she doesn't like the situation that we're in all because of my stupidity.

After being quiet for a while, she said

"Freeny, I know that Kao is your friend and just waking up one day to start ignoring her is not nice but I need you to keep some distance between the both of you.

Freeny, I used to be your best friend. I used to be the one that you want to tell everything.

The one that you laugh with and the one who knows your deepest secrets.

But now it's Kao. I believe you when you say that the both of you are just friends but Freeny, I can't help but be jealous.

I know you're just friends with Kao but I'm always jealous when I see the both of you together.

When you talk about her, I can't help but picture the both of you making love.

I know I'm asking too much but Freeny, can you please keep your distance from her?

I'm not saying that you should ignore her completely but I want us to go back to the way it was before you met Kao.

Before all the drama.

I want us to go back to when it was just me and you again the world.

And that is why I returned to Bangkok. Because it all started from here.

Freeny I want to be here and if we must make this work, you'll also have to be here with me." 

I'd do anything to amend my relationship with Becky. And what she was  demanding, wasn't even half the price to pay. So as to be with Becky.

"Of course!!! Becky, we've been through a lot and you're right, we need to strengthen our connection.

And where better to do that than where the connection happened.

Becky, my home is not in Chidlom or in Bangkok.

My home is anywhere with you. You're my home, my everything and I'll do anything just to have you by my side every time of the day."

To be continued...

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