Brave the Waters

15 - Damage

A/N

Guys... please don't kill me for this chapter but I wanted to do something new, so we're skipping quite a few missions. Collateral Damage, Death Factory, and we're kind of on Hill 493. I'm going to include some history since you and Robin won't have any moments for a while... BE KIND TO ME PLEASE.... Also, there will be some hinting at sexual assault but nothing explicit. If you don't feel like you can read it... don't... 

November 14th, 1944: Location Unknown

~Robert Zussman~

I stared emptily at the fire in front of me. Sparks flew up in the air, lighting up the night and fizzling out into small black spots on the dirt around me. The cold bit into my nose and I was vaguely aware of the goosebumps lining my entire body. I didn't care though, and continued to stare numbly in front of me. Everyone had been trying to cheer me up, and one brave soul even tried to cheer Sarge up... but no one could. 

We'd assaulted Hill 493 today on orders of Colonel Davis... following orders... Nothing had gone according to plan though. Sergeant Pierson had taken half of the squad and led the assault early, leading to multiple disasters. Lieutenant Turner died protecting us as we retreated, and Y/N... Y/N... my beautiful Y/N had been taken. I had no clue if she was dead... or being assaulted by those disgusting fuckers.

Taking my pistol from its place on my belt, I looked at it, contemplating what my life meant to me. Y/N was probably dead, and if she was truly gone, I no longer had anything to live for. It sounded sad and pathetic when it was said out loud, but it was true. Over the past few weeks and months we'd gotten closer and closer. Sergeant Pierson was actually being nicer to me than anyone else, but I think that was just because Y/N threatened him. 

She and I were so in love... and we'd begun to talk about more serious topics. She said that whenever this war was over, she was not going with me back to Chicago. It was decided that I would move with her to Enid and we'd have our own cattle ranch. After all, she'd already defied one cultural expectation of not fighting in a war, so she might as well do another. 

Y/N also loved to talk about children- I don't know how she caught baby fever in the middle of a goddamn war. If it ever got to that point, we both agreed that we'd have no less than two but no more than four kids. One of the girls would be named Rosie and the other would be named William, after her father. 

For a moment, I wanted to pull the trigger and end my life. But... what if she was still alive? I couldn't do that to her. Setting it back down, I pulled at my hair which was slowly growing longer and longer. Someone came and sat down next to me, not saying a word. I looked up to see Sergeant Pierson, red-eyed and numb. 

"Am I needed for something Sergeant?" I asked quietly, my voice catching on the sorrow lodged in my throat. 

"No." He answered. He had the same edge to his voice, feeling a similar pain to me. "I just wanted to talk, because I know Y/N would hate it if I was an ass to you."

"I understand." I accepted the flask that he handed to me. 

"Look." Sergeant Pierson turned towards me. His eyes were still full of distrust, but his care for his daughter overruled any suspicions and anger he held. "I know you loved and cared about my daughter, but we cannot let our feelings for her affect our choices ahead. If we can successfully end this war, then maybe we can go find her."

"I understand, but I need to find her. She means more to me than anything else, and I cannot afford to lose her." I sighed, holding onto the dog tags that she had dropped in my hand before she was taken. 

"Zussman, she's my daughter. Don't think for a second that I don't care about her. I just can't... I can't show it or I will lose my mind." He stood up and started to walk away. "If you mention this conversation to any of your squad mates I will have your head. Just because my daughter's in love with you doesn't mean that I like you. I will only tolerate you for her sake."

"Yes, sergeant." 

I stared up at the stars. I would spend the rest of my life looking for her if I needed to.