Temperance (Steve Rogers AU) 18+

9

I watch as the body bag is taken and put into the back of the SHIELD van. That's one down in training - Pearson. We were warned that there was a possibility of death, it's the risk that comes with being Captain America, and now that training has amped up and weapons are being used. I expect more to not survive.

I glance over to where Wilson and the Captain are watching, their expressions unreadable, almost cold. It's like they don't seem to care that they are a candidate down - but then again they have probably seen their fair share of death. Avoided it for themselves, and most likely inflicted it upon others.

Will I be next?

Everyone is thinking the same, other than Sanders who is basically speaking ill of the dead already and telling his friends that Pearson clearly didn't have what it took to withstand being Captain America.

"That's bullshit!" I say before I can stop myself, and he swings around to glare at me. I raise my head a little more and try to be confident. "It's nothing about whether you can withstand it".

He sizes up to me, which isn't hard because he's probably twice the size I am. "And you think that you can twiglet? Trust me, you're gonna be the next one in that body bag - I'm surprised you haven't already been put there yet". He's still glaring. "Don't you see? This 'training', it's basically a fight to the death to see who is worthy of the serum, and I don't care who I have to kill to get it. The Captain doesn't care about you, about me, about anyone's life here. He cares about finding the strongest cadet - and it sure as hell ain't you".

He says this almost in confidence, to give me a wake up call - but it's a threatening one. Catching the eye of the Captain, he then moves away and back to his friends. I turn to see Cap just staring at me before I turn and walk back inside.

Coulson has all but sent me to my death. How the fuck did he possibly think I could survive here? Did he even know the risks? Was he lied to as well? I'm so confused - is Sanders the one lying to me?

I hear heavy footsteps behind me before a voice cuts through them. "Kennedy".

I stop and turn. "Yes Captain?"

He jerks his head towards the elevator and I take a breath and follow. We get in and the doors close, silence hanging in the stale air as it takes us up to the level his office is on. He simply stares ahead though, stiff. Official. It's how he has to be in a situation like this after all. He cannot show weakness or remorse - if any.

Once we're in his office he turns to me. "What did Sanders say to you?"

"Other than the fact that I should be ending up like Pearson soon? Nothing, but he did tell me that this 'training'? It's basically a fight to the death, the winner comes out on top and gets the serum - and that you guys don't care just who drops dead. Is that true? That some of us might die during this?"

He sighs. "First off, let me tell you that Sam and I care..."

"Oh my god..." I go to move past him but he blocks the door. "Let me out, please".

"No. You need to hear it. SHIELD need to find another Captain, the candidates were always going to be at risk because that's what life will be like for whoever gets the serum. I'm a walking target, live everyday with the risk of being killed. The candidates knew the risks, the ones who referred them knew".

Phil knew...

"The risk of death is normal, and now training's got more intense we're more than likely going to see just who makes the cut and who doesn't".

"And what about Sanders? He said he's going to do whatever to make sure he gets it - even killing".

"Which is what happens Alessandra" He confirms through gritted teeth. "I don't like Sanders, he's too fucking cocky, he may have the physical side to being Cap, but he's not got anything else going for him".

"So why keep him here!" My voice raises slightly and I quickly calm myself. "Why can't you just send him back to be cocky as an Agent?"

He looks at me and I can't help but keep the eye contact. "Because he needs to see that his cockiness? It's gonna get him killed - and it will do. I have my choice as to who deserves the serum, but I have to be fair and let this play out".

"Sanders is all but about to murder for it and you think that's 'fair'?" I ask and then see his face. "It's because you already know who's going to get it don't you? You've probably known from the start".

The Captain turns and begins to pace his office. "Why do you think I have offered to help you with your training Alessandra? Why do you think I showed you my file, let you see what no one else has?"

Shit.

I swallow, feeling my body shake slightly. "It's because it's me isn't it? You chose me to be the next person to receive the serum..."

Now he looks back at me. "Yes".

I can't believe this. I didn't want this in the first place and he knew from the moment he saw me that I was the one. He's known and yet he's putting us all through this - well, SHIELD too.

"Did Coulson know?" I now ask quietly. "Does he know?"

The Captain nods. "He knows".

I nod. "And yet...I still have to be put through all this? Everyone else does? Still risking my life..."

"I'm training you up because there are things I know and will teach you that the other's won't have the benefit of. Sanders will not touch you, trust me. You may think this whole programme is pointless, but we need to rule out the others".

"And what if you're wrong about me? What if I'm not the one capable of being...you?"

He shakes his head at this. "What did I tell you that day in the coffee shop? You're not being trained to be me. You're being trained to be the best version of yourself. To be the Captain America that you want to be." He pauses. "I'm not wrong about you -if I thought I was then you would have been gone by now".

"There's nothing stopping you from choosing someone else and just letting me die".

"True, but there's also nothing stopping me from keeping you alive and giving you the advantage that no one else has..."

He's serious. Telling the truth. I can just see it in his eyes.

"Captain I..."

"Steve". he replies. "If we're going to be working together and in close proximity, then call me Steve".

"And what about when the others are around? I can't call you that then? They'll know something's going on".

He smiles faintly. "I know. Captain in public, Steve in private - now, your Captain is going to order you back to your room like the others, to take a few hours before shield training".

I'm all but ready to spread my legs for him...

"And what is Steve going to order me to do?" I dare to ask.

His look is now somewhat feral. "I'm not sure yet, but I guess we're just going to have to find out..." His body moves away from the door and opens it, allowing me the freedom to exit.

I don't for a moment, still just staring at him into the blue eyes that haven't broken contact with mine. My head is reeling not just from the whole serum revelation, but from this dramatic shift between us.

"Alessandra...go". He commands me softly, and like the good girl that I am, I do as my Captain says.