Jane walked down the cobblestone narrow street, heading home. Rather, her brother's house. It was the place where she felt safe and scared. Where she cried and laughed. It was cruel, but lovely.
Her brother was a complicated person. He was good to her, of course, but he is also the most idiotic person Jane ever met. And yes, Ravi was in 2nd place. Jamie was her brother though. And Jane hated herself for still loving him.
She opened the front door, through the window of which a light was visible. He wasn't home, but Hannah was. Hannah was Jamie’s girlfriend, and for Jane she was just like a big sister. But big sisters aren’t always good people, are they?
“ Hi, J2, how are you? ” Hannah said from the kitchen. She was preparing Jane’s favorite dessert. Jam Heart Cookies. Was it a special day?
“ I’m good, Hannah, thanks for asking! ”
“ J1 is out with his friends, he might come back home tomorrow. I thought we could have a girls’ night, so I baked your favorite cookies. What do you think? ” she proclaimed, a bright smile traveling across her freckled face.
Jane wanted to refuse, but it would be heart-breaking for Hannah, and she didn’t want to see her upset. She learned over years that she is a delicate soul, and she wanted the best for her, but it couldn’t always happen. So the only option that would fit the best is to accept.
“ Yea, sounds great! I don’t have any plans for tonight though, so we could spend it together.” Jane responded with a fake smile, even if she wanted it to be real.
🕶
All of her week went wrong. All. Her project failed. Her coffee spilled all over her uniform. Her cat ripped all her important notes.
And the cherry on top, she had to make her Biology project with her biggest rival. Ravi. Ravi, Ravi, Ravi. Everything is about him, isn’t it? At least she has Taylor Swift and books. And her friends.
She sat next to an old tree covered in ivy, in the raining grass, on her red plaid blanket , reading "Emma" by Jane Austen. Reading was just like an escape from reality, from all the pain, all the overthinking, all the self-blaming, everything she hated most in the world. Maybe she escaped herself too.
Ravi was sitting next to her, just staring at her. But there was something different, that’s sure. After that.
They just had their biggest fight, in front of all the class. It was because of the division into groups for the project. They couldn’t work together, that’s sure. Said the most awful things to each other. And Jane didn’t know why she felt bad. They were enemies, of course they would fight. The silence broke when one of them spoke. She didn’t know who, because all the voices going through her mind sounded the same.
“Look, I’m sorry. It was a stupid, stupid, stupid idea-”
“ Thank you! You finally did one great thing in your life!” Jane didn’t know what she just said. She felt sorry too, but the things she wanted to say were captured by insults.’Cause he was stupid, pathetic, childish, horrible, selfish, intimidating, arrogant, he was…Sorry. The hate between them didn’t disappear but he apologized. Well, that’s weird.
“Thank you? That’s all you can say? You really are awful. Maybe we could switch partners with someone for the project, because clearly, you are insane! ”
“Oh, so now I am insane? God, you are so difficult!” Jane yelled in his face. “ I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”
She packed her things and tried to leave, but Ravi caught her wrist. Everything is moving so fast.
“ Why do you hate me, Jane? Come on, say it! I want to hear it from you. Why do you hate me so much? ” he mumbled so nobody could hear them, his eyes now full of anger, sadness, and an emotion Jane couldn’t recognize.
“ Don’t play stupid! It’s the same fucking reason you hate me. Now, let go of me or I’ll scream! ” she said, now panicking and trying to run, but his tightness was too hard.
Ravi was obviously letting her go, but when their fingers accidentally touched, she knew he wanted the real reason. That real reason was the fact that he was trying to replace her, to be better than her, but unfortunately everyone in 11th grade knows Jane is the best student. But she left him in the back, now going to hang out with Sandra, because she promised. She always fucking promises, but does she keep her promises? Maybe yes, maybe no, who could know?
Now arrived in Sandra’s neon room, full of posters, flowers and bright colors, she saw the change in Sandra. Her hair, God damn it! It’s…blonde?
“ So? What do you think? Sandra said, the excitement in her eyes revealing itself in a big shiny smile.
“ Girl, you look amazing! And what’s with that smell? ” Jane asked and scrunched her nose as the smell invaded her lungs.
“Oh, I made pasta!” She looked panicked and started running to the kitchen. When she arrived with her friend in the back, she was upset because she burned the pasta. “Oh, no! What are we going to eat now? ”
Jane looked confused at Sandra. She wasn’t staying for dinner, so who could her best friend invite over? Maybe she has a date with that girl, Elodie!
“ Are you having dinner with Elodie? ”
“Yeah, I invited her over, but now the food is burned! What do I do? I can call her and say that we should meet at a restaurant. Pass me the phone!”
Jane went to get Sandra’s phone off the table and put it in her friend’s outstretched hand. Sandra was typing something on the screen, so she was probably messaging her “soon-to-be girlfriend”.
Sandra and Jane had a very strong friendship that could be broken by nothing. They knew each other since they were in 6th grade. It all started in the detention room, when their supervisor fell asleep. You could say they were two trouble kids, which is not true right now, because Jane became the good, nerdy girl and Sandra stayed the same. But they loved each other very much. They found Darren in a corner in 7th grade, when he was bullied, so obviously they went to help him. Their trio was mostly crazy, but amazing. A home. A family. A friend group. That was the key to Jane’s happiness.
