The Perfect Chance

Chapter 5 ~Hidden Pains

Jongin's POV

 

Ahh. I didn't get a chance to say my feelings to him. Uhh.. wrong. I just let it go. Again. This is what he thought after getting home.

If he confessed yesterday, and Kyungsoo didn't feel the same way as him.. he would've lost him. And he couldn't take that yet. Maybe if he's prepared for something like that to happen, or if he could accept his decision.. he probably would tell him how he really feels.

He's now going to school but first, he have to go to Kyungsoo's house. It's been a part of his daily routine and he feels like something is missing everytime they weren't able to go to school together.

Then he saw Kyungsoo at the front of his house. He was about to call him when suddenly a girl about the same age as him goes out from the gate and grabbed Kyungsoo's hands.

"Jagiiiii~"

Wait. Jagi? Did he heard it right? He decided to keep his distance and hid behind a post so he wouldn't be noticed easily.

"Ya. You're so slow."

"I'm sorry. Eommunie said she have to get my sizes for the wedding dress."

W-Wedding dress? Who the fuck is going to get married? Is it Kyungsoo? She called him Jagi, right? And.. Eommunie??

"Ugh. Mom."

"Ah! Your tux, you haven't prepared your tux yet! We have to buy later. I'll pick it for you."

"Eh? I'll do it!"

"No. I'll pick it for you. Remember our first date? You're horrible!."

"I wasn't. It just don't suit your taste."

"The more reason I should be the one to choose. You'll look really good at the wedding. Ahh. I'm so excited!" Then she giggled.

As he listened to the conversation, it feels like his heart is slowly losing it's beat. It's as if.. large needles are piercing it and.. just fuck. It was too painful he just can't explain. His eyes started to feel hot and tears started to form in his eyes. He wanted to go back but his legs feels so numb he just can't move.

"Araso. If I am your husband now, I'll already filed a divorce."

"And if I'm your wife, I'll go kick your ass. I know you love me sooooooo much so you can't do that. Hohoho."

So that's it, huh? Hahaha. Fuck it. I'm too late. He thought and his tears started to fall.

"Aish.. I want bulgogi for tonight. Be careful on buying groceries."

"Eh.. You won't come with me? I don't know the places here!  I'll get lost!"

This pain.. it's just too much. Why the hell won't this legs move?!

"I'm waiting for Kai."

"Boo. Who's that?"

"Uh.. A-A friend. He's my bestfriend."

Bestfriend. Haha. Damn you, Kai. You really did nothing over the past 6 years. You really did nothing at all..

"Ahh. So you're choosing him over me? Idiot. Come with me. It's just for today, pleaaassseee?"

"I said I'll wait for him."

Just go, Kyungsoo.. I don't want to see you yet.. And I don't want you to see me in this state.

"Ahh. No. Let's go."

"B-But—"

"Let's gooooooo."

"Okay, okay! I'll just text him!" He finally said and then, they walked away.

Then as if every strength he has were taken away from him. He just sat behind that post and stared into nothingness. I don't know if I should be thankful I didn't said my feelings yet. He won't know I'm hurt. If I said it.. everything would change between them. I'll lost him. Much more pain than what I'm feeling now.

*Kai. Saranghae~*

He smiled when he heard that ringtone. It's from Kyungsoo. He asked him to record that for him. He opened the message.

————-

From: Kyungie <3

Subject: Hey

Message: Kai. I'm sorry I can't wait for you today. I'll just go to the market with someone. Sorry. I'll make it up to you next time. :)

—————

After an hour lying there.. he headed home and didn't went to school. He guess he have to be a fake person wearing a happy mask from now on. A mask that's hiding what's inside.

The feelings you have build in me were enough. I'm so happy I did love you, Kyungsoo.