Only in his mind

chapter 18

it's been weeks since minho had heard that voice in his head.

minho had been doing better he hadn't been haveing as many panic attacks or nightmares anymore.

minho felt at ease.

he was happy with how his life was going.

minho had taken that box he'd found in the closet and slid it under his head after hyunjin had left.

hes yet to open it.

minho wasn't sure he wanted to look at the box because of what happens before.

minho was lost in thought in class again.

minho closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

it was the first time in a bit where he had gotten to sleep easily.

minho saw a boy in his dreams.

he was the same boy from when minho had a panic attack..

who are you? minho asked the boy.

minho. was all the boy said.

he looked angry and sad.

minho didn't understand why.

"who are you?" minho asked

"I'll tell you soon, I love you minho." said the boy suddenly disappearing.

"no! i-i need to know now! " said minho as he was awoken from his sleep. class had been over and minho had missed lunch.

why didn't anyone wake me up minho thought heading home after classes.

minho had been losing sleep for about a week ever since that boy would show up in his sleep.

minho had tried to ask his friends over and over but they just shrugged it off saying they didn't know.

minhos panic attacks had begin to be more frequently again and eventually started to mess with his daily life. he couldn't do anything alone.

everything was always giving him deja vu but he could never pin point what is was and nobody was helping.

minho entually quit college and moved back in with his mom.

she wasn't very pleased with it but she couldn't just let him suffer alone.

she had been surprised the first few times when minhos Panik attacks hit.

she's gotten used to it and has been helpful with them.

with her help after a few months minho had  felt them being less frequent.

he felt comfortable with his mother.

minho still frequently thought about the dream boy. he knew that he was dear to minho he could feel it.

the guilt also got to minho the dreams he'd have of the boy were sometimes nightmares.

the boy would yell at minho saying things like how could you forget me and I thought you loved me minho.

other times the he was scared of the bot he would threaten minho.

tell him if he loved him enough he would die just for the mysterious boy.

minho couldn't being himself to do that especially not when he couldn't even remember the boy.

it didn't really help minho when he was trying to find out who he was when he looked through his phone cause he had to get a new one since his old one broke in the crash.

anytime minho thought of the crash he would get nauseous.

things would go blurry, it wasn't exactly a panic attack it just made him feel sick.

Minho could almost remember the crash in detail there was just one detail missing but he could never figure it out.

he always just assumed he was having false memories sometimes when his friends assured him in what actually hapend, but how would they even know they weren't there is all Minho could think about.

Minho was so lost he couldnt do anything a normal person would do. he just wanted things to be the way it was before the crash. he couldnt even make food without dropping or spilling sowmthing because of how weak his hands and arms were. he couldn't even stand for to long before his knees gave out. his hands shook uncontrollably when he tried to write.

worst of all Minho couldnt dance anymore.

he could only look back on how happy he was dancing with his friends with videos and pictures he had seen.

his friends had made new social media accounts to use around Minho so he wouldn't see jisung and be reminded of him.

they knew how unstable minho was and that would throw him over the edge. they boy he loved so much for so long was gone. they were scared of what Minho would do if they found out.

Minho bad been asking about a boy they knew it was jisung. how is jisung still lingering around there was nothing as far as they could remember that would remind him of jisung.

they knew Minho would never fully forget him but Minho was going crazy.

he was talking to himself.

he would repeat the name ji.

he would scream at no one to leave him alone.

he broke out in sweat randomly

sometimes he looked like he had just witnessed something horrible.

Minho had been trying to push everyone away because he thought they weren't helping.

they always confused Minho.

he couldn't ever tell what they were thinking and a voice in his head always told him they were lying.

the voice sounded a lot likes jis but it was soft and faint unlike jis, it was soft and comfortable to Minho.

he would always try to talk to the voice but no response.