I wake kind of hazy, not fully sure of what has happened. I can't recall anything that happened previously. Something heavy lays over me and I feel incredibly warm.
Too warm.
Opening my eyes, look over to see Tristan cuddling into me. All at once flashes come back to me.
The male's voice "I'm surprised he hasn't put a pup in you yet".
Him grabbing me and shoving me against the wall. I'm screaming but no one is coming.
His voice sounds again "Maybe it's my lucky day, I have been missing a good fuck."
I've given up, no one is coming. Tristan won't save me this time.
I scream, trying to get out of Tristan's hold. I feel gross, every touch feels slimy. Something has been scratching at the back of my mind for days now and this has been it. This feeling makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
Tristan's eyes flash open and he is up in an instant. His movement allows me to scramble away—and fall onto the floor. I'm naked. Grabbing the nears piece of fabric, I stand and move further and further away from him. Tristan is saying something but I can't hear it; there is a ringing in my ears. His hands were stretched out toward me, palms flat, as if approaching a wild animal. I just back up more and more until I hit the wall. Trapped.
More flashes start to come in. This time of what the past week has been: him and me. Him inside me over and over again. Oh, Goddess. My heat. All this happened at the worst time.
My breathing picks up until the air doesn't have time to enter my body before it is leaving again. Luna save me, this is all too much.
Tristan turns around and leaves the room—leaves me. I slide down the wall until hit the floor and curl up. For the first time, I notice I am crying. It is already down my cheeks and has dripped to form wet spots on the sheet I apparently grabbed. Closing my eyes, the tears don't stop, but I tuck my head down into me and rock back and forth, trying to soothe myself.
It feels like forever until the door opens again. Immediately, I look up. This time it's Rose. I don't really want her near or touching me either, but she is better than Tristan. Her mouth is moving but I still hear nothing. It takes all my energy to focus on her words.
"Deep breaths, ok?" she approaches me like Tristan did, like a wild animal. "I'm going to draw you a bath, and we are going to get you cleaned up," Rose speaks slowly moving her head up and down just as slow, almost like a nod. Keeping her eyes on me, she moves toward the bathroom and I hear the faucet start.
After a few minutes, Rose tries approaching me again. I'm not ready to move, not ready to get up or process all this, or do anything. I'm shaking when she touches me, and I recoil away, the feel of skin on skin making me want to vomit.
It takes quite a bit of coaxing to get me to stand and I only start moving when she places he hands on the sheet instead of me, moving me to the bathroom. The water is not as hot as I want it; scalding. I want to burn away every touch and feeling. Rose doesn't move, just sits with me as I stare blankly at the wall.
"I've always known that things would be taken from me without my input. My life has been taken from me. And I've conceded the fact that one of these days my heat would come and some male who I didn't know would be there and I would be bound to the whims of that male or some other for the rest of my life. And yet you are here—you have been for the last two months. And I know you, I feel comfortable around you, I like you.
"I don't get to choose much in life but let me choose this: from the moment I met you, I knew you were the one I wanted for that first heat. You were kind and honest and even if that changes tomorrow and you are cruel for the rest of your life, I want these to be the memories I have of my first time. I want it to be a male who has treated me with some dignity. Please let me have this."
How am I supposed to feel? I meant the words I said, and I don't regret them, but at the same time, I do. It's all so confusing. I don't blame Tristan, but that still doesn't stop me from the feelings I got when he was around earlier. It's like my brain thinks one thing but my body thinks another.
The water runs cold and I mindlessly get out, not sure if I even cleaned myself, moving towards the closet. For months I have been resenting the feeling of clothes, wanting as little as possible. Now, all I want is to be covered. I'm freezing, and all I want is to curl up under blankets and wish the world away.
The day moves around me. At some point, Rose opened the doors to the balcony to "air out the room". I could vaguely smell something sour but was too numb to do anything about it. Rose tried to get food into me and I wouldn't move and eventually, she gave up.
Everything was burly, until I finally saw Tristan again, somehow changed into normal clothes. I look towards the window—it's dark outside. He stops and sits on the bed, far from me on the couch.
"We need to talk." It's not a question, but a demand from him. I don't say anything but move my head towards him, but not looking at him. He sighs, "Words can't express how sorry I am Fate." He runs his hand down his face, "Things never should have happened like that. Please, just at least tell me you're ok."
I bite my lip, "Yea, I'm fine."
Tristan lets out a breath, "Good. Listen, that won't ever happen again." He starts talking to himself, "I'm supposed to protect you and I did that, I'm so stupid."
"It's ok," I say, stopping his rant, "I know I asked. You were in a tough position. I don't blame you."
"Fate, that's kind and all, but you don't have to sugarcoat things. I know I royally fucked up."I try to object but he continues, "You don't react like that and then are magically fine."
'I'm—" I pause, not wanting to speak at all, "I'm still getting used to things. I'm still pretty shaken up from everything and my body can't quite get over everything." My voice is so small, I'm not sure he can even hear it, "I'm not upset with you. I just...it's hard." I gulp my throat suddenly dry.
"I understand," he stands, "I'll pend then night somewhere else. Rose should be here soon to watch after you." I just nod and let him leave.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello lovelies,
So I am avoiding doing summer school so you get another update. Don't worry, I am till planning on posting on Sunday and start having a schedule again.
See ya soon,
Abbey J
YOU ARE READING
The Heir's Breeder
WerewolfFate has spent her whole life, since she was ten, in a barn waiting for the day when she would be loaned out to the highest bidder to produce pups. But now that her first heat has passed, she is surprised to be sold off to become a gift for the King...