The Heir's Breeder

19

In the week following my heat, I worked to slowly adjust to life again. The crazy switch in m hormones and emotions knocked me out but also reset me and my view on the situation: I would not let the actions of others define me.

I decided I would start with being comfortable around females again. They had not been too bad to begin with so it was a good starting point. Rose had put herself up to help me and I kindly took the offer. It was a lot of exposure therapy; forcing myself into places with a few amount of people and staying until my brain stopped screaming.

Females—I could handle—but that is where my progress stopped. Interestingly, we found that I didn't freak out around wolves as much. We still only let females around me, but sitting with wolves, helping them take care of their fur, letting them nuzzle into me, it was a great way to get that connection I realized I was missing without going into shock.

"When are you going to talk to him?" Rose asks, a young pup relaxing her head in my lap. Rose sits a few feet away from me, but still close enough that our conversation can be just ours.

My hand runs through the wolf's fur. "I try to, every night he comes to check on me but I just don't think I am ready for that yet."

"Fae," Rose decided recently that "Fate" was too long and shortened it, "I know it's a lot on you, and I'm not saying that you have to right now, but that should be your goal. Even if it is just a little every night, try to say something."

"Ok," I say, attitude in my voice, "How do I do that?"

"What would you say?" she asks solemnly, not even looking at me.

I open my mouth the speak when the wolf perks her head up. We pause for a moment before hearing a woman calling, "Everly." The wolf slowly stretches and moves up, giving me a lick and trotting away.

We stay sitting on the grass, watching the young pups play and watching the older pups run around in their wolf forms. I sigh, wondering what I would say. Different versions of the same conversation run over and over in my head. "I guess," I start but pause, scared that I may say the wrong thing, "my world is so different than his. The things I worry about he never has. I've learned how to handle citations and, with him, everything is different. I finally started to settle in and all this," I gesture at nothing, "happened. I just don't know where to go from here."

"He'll understand," she moves slightly closer trying to show closeness without scaring me. I breathe in deeply and exhale loudly, unsure if the next thing I do is right.

I scoot even closer and place my hand on hers, the first person I have touched in a week. My brain is screaming at me and my body is tensing up fighting me to pull away. But I don't. Rose turns her head and stares at me in disbelief. "I just," I start, willing my body to stay n place, "don't know if I am ready for that."

_____________________

"Don't beat it too hard," Eva chuckles walking past me. The kitchen is filled with mostly females and I am trying to get myself back to doing normal things. I am trying to fold dough for pasta and, apparently, am putting "too much" force into it. I give an annoyed smile and get back to work.

"Well, we have missed having you in here, Fate," Elizabeth comments from the other end of the kitchen, working on all the vegetables. I smile and give a "thank you" before silently continuing my work on the dough.

It is starting to get colder now and I am thankful that I have gotten used to clothes now otherwise my options would be to be comfortable and freeze or vice versa. I pull my shawl up a little more and my hands continue kneading the dough, a shiver running through me.

It is later in the day, the sun almost setting, and Rose had left me to go do other work—I didn't ask what. I haven't painted since the incident and part of me wants to get back to it. The other part knows what will happen. Painting is a deeply personal thing; it leaves me alone with my thoughts and self and I would spiral on my own. I do miss the feeling though and wish I could continue my work—it would be another thing to bring interest to my day.

"Do you want me to work on that?" Eva asks, suddenly behind me. I hadn't noticed that I stopped kneading the dough. Suddenly, I feel exhausted and, despite my protests, nod and step away. As I step, I lose my balance and start to fall. Eva's hands reach out to catch me and it takes everything I have not to scream when I feel her hands on me. "Let's get you sitting," I just nod quietly in agreement with her and follow her movements to a chair in the kitchen.

I'm not sure how long I stay sitting before Rose comes in to get me. She is saying something that I don't quite hear but stops when she sees me practically hunched over on a chair. "Oh my," she says, rushing over, "Are you ok, hon?" Rose is kneeling in front of me, hands on either side of the chair so she doesn't touch me.

I just nod, too tied to say anything when I watch her face scrunch. Her nose moves as she sniffs the air then freezes. All of a sudden, a hand is on me again and I am being pulled to stand. "You need to come with me. Right now," there is no room left for argument as I am pulled out of the kitchen and down different hallways.

I am not even sure where I am going when she pulls me into a study—one, I realize, that Tristan's. He closes some book and looks at the door, freezing up when our eyes meet. He starts to make protests when Rose drops my hand and stops him, "No time right now, you need to be the first to know this."

He looks, confused, at Rose but I am the one to speak, "Know what?" Rose doesn't even look at me but continues some silent conversation with Tristan. I watch as he smells the air just as Rose did then goes completely still. "Know what?" I ask again, wanting some answer.

Tristan is the one to speak, "You're pregnant."

~~~~~~~~~~

Hello,

I mean, none of us are surprised. This is a short note.

Like.

Comment.

Something. I'll be your best friend.

See ya soon,

Abbey J