𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐑𝐞𝐝 - [ʜɪᴀᴛᴜs]

𝟎𝟓𝟔.𝟓: 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬

"Takemitchy, don't tell me you're a two-timer! You're going to get slapped so hard!"

The first day I met you. I thought you were boring.

"Are you always this quiet?"

"I guess you could say I'm more of a listener..."

"That's no fair, I can't be the only one talking on our date, y'know!"

Unsociable. Taciturn. Awkward.

Yet there was something compelling about you. I just couldn't pin it.

"I'm staying over then!" I decided. You looked at me funnily. Like you wanted to reject. But you didn't.

"I know! But he's kinda cute, so I'll let it slide."

"Aw, you didn't let him have any more last words."

Have you always talked to yourself? How long have you lived this lonely?

For someone who's only just met me. You were the only person who ran after me. The day I thought Draken was going to die. You noticed me. And hugged me.

How...? How did you know I needed that?

Who are you...?

"I don't know who I am...!"

I saw a little bit of myself in you. That loneliness.

Do you, too, try to distract yourself from this loneliness you feel? Is there something you've been cursed with as well? The pain in your voice as you try to strain yourself from crying more. I know what that's like...

You shake in my arms. I felt this was the least I could do. But is that enough?

I was a little surprised when you let me pull you out of class back in October. I wanted to cheer you up after making you cry.

Hearing your laugh. Seeing you smile. Seeing you happy. Made me feel happy. Hopeful. Maybe you were the one I needed. The light in my cold, dark heart.

But do I deserve it...? Do I deserve your love?

All this time. I thought I was the one who was helping you feel less lonely. But it was you who helped me.

"I know what it's like to feel alone. My whole life, I've tried to avoid having friends because... I knew it would be hard for me to cope with... The thought of people I loved dying. It always scared me. I thought I was fine with being alone. Convincing myself that I was independent. But I need someone to depend on... Someone I can confide in. Someone to hold me and tell me it's okay..."

Me too...

"Your compassion, courage, charisma... Is inspiring. Not only to me but to everyone. You're the one who gives me the strength to fight. You're the one who's taught me how to love. I can only dream of being that for you."

You're wrong... It's you who gives me strength. You who's taught me how to love.

But it's you... Who I must let go.

If I made it to Shinichiro's shop sooner, he wouldn't have died. If I had gotten up and focused on Kazutora, Baji wouldn't have died. If I would've let Emma stay by me, she wouldn't have died.

The relief and anger I felt as I saw you. I was so glad you were okay. It was so hard to keep a level head. I... I wanted to kill everyone there... I know it's wrong. But for whatever reason, that felt like the right thing to do.

For you, I'd sacrifice everyone just to keep you safe. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I wouldn't know.

But maybe I'm the one who's putting you in danger. Involving you in Toman. Burdening you with this darkness.

You're too generous to give me your love. Your heart... Is too pure. Beautiful. I don't deserve someone as welcoming and patient as you are.

I hate the thought of you getting hurt. And I'd hate myself if I ever hurt you.

I want to convince myself this is for the better. That I'm doing the right thing. But I don't know if it is. But if it means keeping you safe, I'll sacrifice my heart for yours. I'll shut out all feeling and emotion. I'll make you hate and resent me. And forget me. For your own good.

I'll choose the path of darkness if it means bettering the future. Your future.

You were wrong about my weakness making me strong. It just makes me weak.

I hate weak people.