BEA
"What's your deal?" I asked her, she looked at me with unbothered face.
"I want a child. Anakan mo ako" she simply said. I mentally facepalm myself.
"Bakit ako? Iba nalang" sabi ko, tumayo siya sa kinauupuan niya at tumayo sa harapan ko. She crossed her arms on her chest.
"Accept my offer or I will send you to jail?" she sternly asked me while nakataas ang isa niyang kilay.
"Here you go again. Blackmailing me. Wala ka na bang ibang masabi at iyan nalang palagi" galit na tanong ko.
Andito kami sa office ng Dad niya. She said we will go here because her Dad will go somewhere and she will be the one to take charge.
"Matapang kana ah. Lumalaban na" sabi niya, she walked to the table and get a wine. "Remember De Leon, hawak kita sa leeg. You can't say no to me" sabi niya sabay inom sa hawak niyang baso.
"Kaya kong makawala sa iyo. I'm not afraid of you anymore" I bravely said. Tinapon niya naman ang baso sa pader kaya naglikha ito ng ingay.
"You can't. Aanakan mo lang naman ako. At isa pa we will do it through IVF procedure, ano ba ang hindi malinaw sa iyo don. Besides, we will pay you!" sigaw niya. Umiling ako at tumayo na sa pagkakaupo kanina.
"I don't want to have a child with you." I said. Gumulo naman lalo ang expression on her face.
"Tell me your fucking reason! Yun lang naman ang hinihingi ko, and pwede ka ng mawala sa buhay ko after that" she angrily said.
"Ayokong magka anak sa iyo dahil I raped you. Ano nalang sasabihin mo sa anak ko kapag tinanong niya kung saan ang isa niyang magulang? Kung bakit wala siyang buo na pamilya?" sabi ko.
"Then don't leave me. Let's raise that child together." galit na sigaw niya.
"Are you insane? I don't have feelings for you, ma'am? Ayoko naman na makipag plastikan lang sa bata kung may mabubuo man" sabi ko. Umiling lang siya.
"Then learn to love me. It's a long process but let's work things out"
Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya.
"Just find another sperm donor, ma'am. I can't accept the offer" sabi ko. Aalis na sana ako when she spoke.
"You are the reason why my sister died"
Tangina.
"The reason I made a deal with you because dad still finding the last person na siyang dahilan kung bakit namatay ito" naguguluhan ako sa mga sinasabi niya.
"Why are you telling me this? I don't have kasalanan sa kapatid mo. Ikaw ang na rape ko, hindi siya" unless? fucking shit. no, noo!!
Natigilan ako, call it moment of realization. I looked at her. Her face has a worried expression. Fucking no way!
"You didn't rape me. That's my twin sister and not me" she softly said. Pero bakit niya sinabi na siya yon?!
"H-how? I m-mean, bakit mo sinabi na ikaw yon?!" naguguluhan tanong ko.
"I want to protect you. Dad wants to kill you, buti nalang hindi niya pa nalalaman na ikaw yung tao na yon" she said. Nanlambot ang tuhod ko at napaupo sa sahig. She approached me and hugged my head.
"H-hindi ko naman y-yon sinasadya. I didn't kill her. I j-just raped her. No, I didn't k-kill her." umiiyak na sabi ko. Humagolgol na ako sa dibdib niya.
"She committed suicide after that day. We found her lifeless body hanging inside her condo. Hindi niya kinaya ang nangyari" sabi niya. Mas lalo akong naiyak sa sinabi niya.
Fuck me. Fuck myself.
"H-hindi ko s-sinasadya. L-lasing ako non. L-lasing ako" sabi ko. Mas humigpit ang yakap niya when I cried so hard.
"I know. You didn't sadya everything. I know" sabi niya habang hinahaplos niya ang likod ko.
Umiyak lang ako sa mga bisig niya. I don't know what to think anymore. I was the reason why an innocent soul committed a suicide.
"Tahan na. Let's go to the hotel so you can rest" sabi niya pero umiling ako. Kumalas ako sa mga bisig niya at tinignan siya ng diretso sa mata.
"Aamin na ako sa Dad mo." sabi ko, panic is evidenced sa mukha niya.
"NOO!! Don't you ever do that. I'm here, Beatriz. I can help you" nagagalit na sabi niya.
She called me Beatriz. That's a first time.
"But, I can't calm and ignore everything. Pinatay ko ang kapatid mo" sigaw ko. I'm stressed. Fuck.
"You didn't kill her. She did that to herself."
"But, I was the reason. I'm the reason why she did that" naluluhang sabi ko.
"Stay with me and I'll take care of everything. I won't let anything bad happen to you. I got you, Beatriz" she said. Why she is so concern to me?
"Why are you doing this? Tell me your reason. I don't understand you. You should kill me right away, but here you are, still helping me and let me fuck you" sabi ko sabay tayo ng mabuti, sumunod din siyang tumayo.
"I just want to and my body wants you. Only you" she said. Umiling ako.
"I want to make my mistakes right. Magagawa ko lang yon kapag sumuko na ako" sabi ko. And a slap landed on my face.
"Wake up, De leon. You're not thinking. I'm here to help you pero tanggi ka ng tanggi. Can you please obey me and let me handle everything. Let me take care of it." I was shocked with her sudden outburst. "Lastly, anakan mo ako. End of discussion. You can go now." she said and go back to her table.
I decided to leave and clear up my mind. I should also think about her offer. But my guilt is eating me right now. What the hell I did?! Potangina indeed.
___________________________________
Hello. Slow update muna ha.
Sorry for the typos and grammatical errors.
