Moon Song

Chapter 6 - Jasmine

It had been a long week. A long week of not seeing Claire even once. That's not to say that she didn't think about her though, cause she definitely had. 

Jasmine had had a shit day. Nothing particularly bad had happened, she had just found her school and home life much harder to tolerate. 

Her day had started with a double period of music, a class that she would usually look forward to. However, her group composition work was due this coming Friday, and lets just say she was put in a group of people who chose to take music because they thought it would be a free period. She had tried to get them to cooperate, but all they had managed to write was a single piano riff. Whenever she had raised her voice even the slightest, the guitar player, Lewis, and the drummer, Marco, wouldn't listen to her and they would just continue playing their own things over the top of her voice.

One thing about about Jasmine was her inability to handle stress. In moments like this in music, she could feel it bubbling up in her chest, and her breathing would quicken. And of course, all the noise was not helping. Usually she would find somewhere quiet (such as various bathroom stalls), and just take a minute to calm herself. Though this was only a temporary solution that would only result in her emotions bottling up until she was alone, it seemed to work for her. Plus, it was her fault that she was like this.

Once she had finally arrived home, all she wanted to do was lay on her bed, and stare at the ceiling with the company of no one except Phoebe Bridgers playing on vinyl in the corner of her room. But that wasn't possible. 

As soon as the front door closed behind her, Jasmine's mum reminded her that she had to stack the firewood into the woodshed, clean up after the cats, and bring in the washing off the line.

'Come on, you're not in the hostel anymore, you've got responsibilities.' Her mum nagged.

'Gee, thanks for reminding me,' Jasmine muttered under her breath, loud enough for only her to hear.

It wasn't until after dinner that she was free. After clearing the table, she went to head upstairs.

'Are you gonna go hide in your room all day again?' Her dad asked with just enough tone to really grind her gears.

'Actually, I have some important homework I need to get done.' Jasmine lied. She spoke calmly, scared that if she raised her voice even a little, her father would be able to her that she was on the brink of tears. Apparently, that wasn't how he heard it.

'Hey, no need for the attitude.' He said in that tone that all parents have, the one that always comes out when they think they know every little thing.

Anger bubbled up inside Jasmine. He didn't know the half of it. When was he going to understand that school isn't just a place where you catch up with friends and have fun anymore? She wanted to shout it out, take all her stress and anger out on her father, but she knew she would be able to hold herself together.

'I haven't been alone in DAYS!'

And with that, she broke down. The quick breaths, the heavy tears, the weak knees, it all came over her. She fell to the carpet and cried. By the look on her dad's face, he obviously wasn't expecting such a reaction. So she used his shock to her advantage, and ran upstairs to her bedroom before he could say anything.

After shutting the door behind her, Jasmine collapsed face first on her bed, and let herself crumble. There were less tears now, more of the uncontrollable breathing. She got up and began pacing around her room. She rapidly shook her wrists, as if she was trying to shake something off of them. She collapsed onto the floor of her room, watching herself in the mirror. She watched as her fingers mindlessly dug themselves into the flesh behind her ear. She hated herself for doing it, but she didn't care enough to stop. The area around her nose and mouth began to get pins and needles from breathing so hard, and her face was burning.

'Why the fuck are you like this!' She whisper-yelled at her own reflection. Her fingers behind her ear kept scratching, the crater there growing and growing. 

Slowly, she stopped, and pulled her shaky hand down to look at it. Bright red blood and skin sat beneath her fingernails. She returned her gaze to the mirror as her ear began to sting.

'Why can't you just be normal?' As she blinked, she felt more hot tears roll down her cheeks. 'Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?' She asked herself between shaky breaths.

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Jasmine woke up at 11.48pm. She didn't remember falling asleep, but she figured it must've been sometime after she finally had started to calm down.  She looked up at her bedroom light, still turned on. A shiver ran through her body as a cool breeze blew through her open window.

She got up off her floor to close her window, stretching as she did. The floor was not the most comfortable place to have fallen asleep. 

As she latched the window shut,  she was reminded of a certain red haired neighbor of hers. Jasmine wondered if she was still awake.

Before she could convince herself not to, she picked her phone up of her bedside table and opened her contacts. And soon as she spotted Claire's name, she tapped on it.

Jasmine :

Hey, are you awake?

It only took a few seconds for the reply

Claire:

Yup :)

Jasmine smiled at her phone as she saw the little smiley face that Claire had added. 

Jasmine:

Would you wanna meet outside?

Claire:

oki doki! see you in two minutes.

Jasmine let out a sigh of relief that she hadn't realised she had been keeping in. Then she headed for the music room window. 

As her bare feet padded along the grass up the hill, Jasmine could feel something she hadn't felt in a while. Excitement. She still wasn't quite sure what it was that made Claire so interesting to her, but she decided she was probably just glad to have made a new friend that, so far, wasn't full of flaws.

'Hey,' Claire stood on the top of the hill, awaiting Jasmine's arrival.

'Hey,' As soon as Jasmine lay her blue eyes on her neighbor, she forgot everything that had been troubling her earlier that day.

'What's up?' Asked Claire, as the two girls took a seat on the grass. Jasmine realised that she didn't really have a reason to want to see Claire, she just had.

'I just don't really wanna be alone right now.' Jasmine was half shocked at her own words. She usually found it difficult to open up to others, usually lying her way out of situations that left her feeling too honest and vulnerable. Claire just smiled at her. Jasmine couldn't help but smile back.

Jasmine watched and Claire shivered. It was actually really cold, and she instantly regretted not grabbing a coat, or at least putting on socks before coming out.

'Sorry, I shouldn't expect you to stand out here in the cold with me. I totally get it if you wanna go inside.' Jasmine didn't want her to leave. 'Or.... you could come to mine for a bit?' She wasn't sure quite how Claire would respond to that, considering this was only the third time they'd even met. If the roles were reversed, she knew that she wouldn't feel totally comfortable going to Claire's house in the middle of the night.

'What about your parents?' Claire asked.

'They wouldn't have to know.' Jasmine knew that her parents wouldn't come into her room at this time of night, especially after her little outburst after dinner.

'Ok. Why not?' Claire said with a giggle. 

Jasmine smiled.