Dragon Keeper (GxG)

49. Her Feelings

A couple of days after the celebration of Lisanna coming back, Makarov pulled me away from the others as he said that he wants to talk about something to me. I was confused about it and follow him up until we reach the second floor. And from here, i can see everyone doing their usual things as Natsu and Gray gets on their bickerings. While some of them were minding their own businesses.

I let out a sigh and turn my head to look at Makarov.

" What is it?" i asked.

He didn't say anything as he just watched everyone from up here. But my head turn to him again when he decided to talk.

" I was thinking.. " he started. " If you want to participate on the thing that.. will happen in a few days. The trial for the S Class wizard will happen soon and since you're not an S Class wizard, i want to ask you if you're interested in joining"

I blink my eyes for a moment before i look away from him and think of it. My eyes then fell on everyone and a small smile appear on my face.

" No.. i think someone is more deserving to have that chance. I don't really need to have that title and besides I'll be going somewhere in a few days.." i said and he turn his head to me with a look of confusion on his face but i just shrug my shoulders at him.

There's a silence that fell on us for a moment before he turns to me again and stare for a few seconds making me raise my eyebrows at him.

" What is going on with you and Erza? Don't think i wouldn't noticed that little glances when she's not looking at you, eh" he said and i look away blinking a few times.

" I don't know what you're talking about" i said before my eyes fell on Erza who's talking to Wendy and Lucy.

" You've been alone for hundreds of years.. when will you let yourself be happy for once?" he said as my eyes widen a bit as i turn to him.

Sighed.

" I wasn't alone.. i have you and everyone here, don't i?" i answered slowly as my eyes roam around inside the guild, watching the smiles on their faces and a small one form on mine too.

" You know what I'm talking about, Enlil. Your eyes can't lie to me. The look in your eyes says otherwise and they are the only part of our body that shows what you truly felt inside your heart. And it's telling me.. that despite of being around everyone, you still felt that you're alone" he said and i stare at him in shock.

How could he see through me? I thought as my lips parted a bit.

I know that i have them, they got my back and i have theirs and it's really making me feel that I'm not alone by myself but even though I'm always around and they drag me along with them, on the inside there's some part of me that still felt alone.. that something is missing. While i don't think much about it, this time it really makes me wonder and think about it. But then..

Sigh. I blink a few times.

" I am" i whispered. " I do felt like that.. like something are still missing despite of everyone trying to make me feel that i belong here. Thinking about it before didn't gave me really an answer but now.. i think, i know what that is.."

" Then what's stopping you? Now that you finally see it, shouldn't you be doing something about it?" he asked turning his head to me.

My jaw clench a bit as my eyes fell on her.

" It's not that easy, Makarov"

" How so?" he said and i took a deep breath before letting it out shakily.

" I'm Immortal.. while Mage's have long years to live compared to normal person, some time in the future, i would still outlive them. Watching the people i know and care about, die in front of me was something i grew tired of. And that's not easy get pass to and move forward like it was nothing" i told him as the thought of two old married couple cross my mind.

It was back then when I'm still roaming around the country in search for him. It was raining storm and i found an old cabin inside the forest and thought that it was abandoned, and stay outside for a shelter. But the door opens and the old lady let me inside their house despite of me being a stranger to them, they let me stay there until the storm get passed and since then i would always comeback and check for them. Giving them some goods that helps them in everyday life since they're too old to do some work but then.. a year later when i came back to check for them. I found them both laying still on their bed while holding each others hand.. turns out they have died of old age. After that.. i left the town again after giving them a proper burial and payed my respect.

" I understand.. seeing all those people gets old and die of old age while you remain like that must be really hard. But then.. if it would make you really happy being with them, why would you think of the future that's not even really happening at the moment? Shouldn't you be enjoying it, create memories with them and live the best of it. We really can't tell what will happen in the future.. but that's one of the reason why we need to look forward, right? Let yourself be happy for once in your life, Enlil. Don't think much about the future and look on what's right in front of you or else you will regret it"

I was brought back to reality when i heard his voice and i stare at him in shock hearing the things he had said to me. I blink a few times and let it sink to my head before i let out another sigh.

Makarov didn't say anything to me after that as we both watch everyone from up here in silence. I guess he just wants me to think it through and decide for myself. After a few more minutes he told me that he's going to see Gildarts and i let out a scoff hearing his name but nods my head nonetheless. And now that I'm alone.. different thoughts came to my mind. So many what ifs and what would might happen but then.. i took a deep breath before letting it out again, shaking all my thoughts away as i made my way down there and out of the guild after telling them that I'll be off to somewhere.

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The next morning as the sun had set above in the sky, Erza woke up from her sleep as she brushes away the remaining sleepiness on her eyes. They just had another sleepover at Lucy's place and play some games until late at night before they decided to call it a night and get comfortable on their beds. She opens her eyes and turn her head to look beside her but then she was surprise to see that there's no one laying there on the make shift bed beside her. Before she could guess about where they are, the door suddenly opened and Natsu's voice filled her ears as he starts to freak out.

" Enlil is missing!" he yelled making Erza's eyes to widen in shock before she gets on her feet and ask him what he is talking about.

Natsu explain to her that he thought about breaking in on Enlil's room but when he and Happy gets there, they didn't see Enlil and thought that maybe she was just taking a bath and waited for a few more minutes but still nothing. They try to look for her but he caught the faint smell of hers and it leads him to the window and it disappeared right there.

Hearing all of it, Erza quickly run outside Lucy's room and goes to where Enlil's are and found Lucy there who's trying to look for Enlil along with Wendy and Charle. She panted a bit feeling her heart pounding inside her chest at the thought of Enlil leaving them but her eyes fell on Lucy when she walks to her holding something from her hand.

" She left a note, says she's going off for a few weeks" Lucy said as Erza read the note on her hand, making her jaw clench a bit.

Sensing the tension.. the group decided to head at the guild and tell Makarov about Enlil's sudden disappearance and the note she left but Makarov didn't seem shock about it nor look like he cares that she left all of a sudden making their eyes narrowed a bit.

" Hm.. no need to worry about it. Enlil told me about it before she left last night. And i let her because she needed some time alone.. especially since it was coming.." he told them slowing down at the last part that makes the group to look at him in confusion as he took a sip on his drink.

Makarov told them to let her be when Natsu attempt to look for her saying that Enlil are always doing it every year and that it has something to do with her past. It makes the group more confused but didn't ask anymore and just put the topic aside. They all took a seat on a table as their mind were thinking about what could be the reason behind Enlil's sudden disappearance until Makarov calls for Erza and ask her to follow him at his office.