Harsh "Love"

Chapter 1 -K

Heidis POV

I woke up to the light shining on my face from outside the window in between my blinds I had slightly down. I yawned stretching before looking at my alarm clock eyes widening at what time it was, 4:23 pm.

"This is bad, really bad." I thought to myself, I don't normally wake up this late. My alarm must not have gone off, or I forgot to set it up. I knew Eric was going to be pissed off though, even with my explanations.

I sighed as I reached over and pulled my phone from the charger, the case was green with a daisy painted on it. Nothing special, but I liked that. I turned my phone on to see 60+ unread messages from guess who, Eric. I opened my phone to its wallpaper, an old photo of me and Eric when we were kids, cute. I clicked on my messages and saw all the texts he sent me,

"Heidi r u w/ another man?"
"Y would u do this to me.."
"What if I just died, maybe u wouldn't be ignoring me..."

The messages went on and on, this normally happened whenever I wasn't able to reply right away. It was kinda frustrating sometimes. I clicked to reply, my keyboard showing up on my phone as I started to type,

"Sorry, lovebug. I slept in."

I said hoping he would believe me and not make this into a huge deal. I watched as the delivered word turned to read, no reply. Was he giving me the silent treatment? I started to feel bad, I should have checked my alarm before going to bed. I made him worried.

"Eric, I'm sorry."

I texted hoping he would respond, with anything really. Nothing, just a stupid read mark.

"Eric, please. I'm sorry, honey."

Nothing, nothing again. I opened Snapchat to see if maybe he would answer there,
he sent me something.

It was him next to a gun with him crying. I felt my heart sink in my chest looking at the photo, I quickly started texting him message after message begging him to stop, that I wouldn't ever do it again, I'm sorry. He finally replied.

"Ok...promise?"

I felt so relieved he finally answered that I responded in seconds, promising as he asked me to.

"Promise. 🫶"
"If you break this promise I will kill myself."
"I won't, don't worry."

I felt a little bad at his words, that's a huge thing to carry. I felt pressured to reply, It isn't the first time he threatened his life. He would do it if I broke up with him, if I didn't answer so on,  so on. It's difficult sometimes but he knows it works on me. I don't want to be the reason for his death and sometimes he holds that against me. It's okay though,
he doesn't mean to. He loves me.

"I love you. 🫶❤️❤️❤️🥰"
"Same"

Same, same? Maybe I'm overthinking it again. He's just scared to say it, he said so himself! I hope.

I kept glancing at that message thinking about it till a got a new one from my friend Red. I quickly zoned back in and clicked on it before Reading her message.

"Hey, Heidi! Wanna come out with me and some of the girls later? "
"Hey, Red! Of course, ill get ready!"
"Great, we will pick you up in 20!"
"Sounds good!"

I turned off my phone with a smile as I stood up and looked in the mirror, Jesus my hair was a mess. I'll take care of it in a bit, first clothes. I walked to my closet pulling the door open as I searched for an outfit before finally settling for one.

I quickly put it on before grabbing my brush and started to brush my hair before hearing a honk outside following a knock on the door. I chuckled softly already knowing who it was. I finished brushing my hair and opened the door to see Bebe standing there with Red, Nicole, Wendy, and Sarah all in the car waiting for me.

"Hey bitch! Finally!" Bebe said hugging me gently before placing her hand on her hip waiting for me to respond. "Sorry!!" I laughed before we walked back to the car, it was crowded but no one minded.

The car was blasting music and we were all laughing and enjoying ourselfs as Red drove us to a new restaurant that had opened up a few weeks ago, Vintage Vittles. It looked nice from the outside, very green with plants everywhere really nice for pictures though.

We walked in and got seated, we ordered our drinks and started talking about random things that people thought of. It was going decently well actually, our drinks were perfect and nothing has gone wrong so far! I drank some of my tea before placing it back down as the girls started to talk about things their boyfriends were doing, it was interesting. I decided to bring up what happened this morning, how he was so worried. I figured it would be funny and cute how he was so worried about me.

"Cartman was so worried that I didnt text him in my normal time this morning, he figured I was cheating actually. Its cute he was so worried about me, he was even crying."

The room fell silent.

"What?" Wendy said slightly low, all the girls had their eyes on me. "Uh, yeah." I choked up after a bit confused on why everyone went quiet, was it something I said? "Heidi, can I see the messages if you don't mind?" Wendy replied once again, her tone was weird. I nodded grabbing my phone and handed it to her. "When did you guys start dating again?" "Oh, I had to change it. He couldnt remember when we started dating so I changed it to something easier so he wouldn't get upset. Its 1111."

The girls looked at me confused before Nicole spoke, "He didnt remember when you guys started dating again? It was on your birthday..?" "Yeah, he isnt good with dates he said." "Girls...look." Wendy said mouth open as she turned the phone around to show the girls, it was the photo that he sent me next to the gun and me begging him to stop.

"What?" I replied noticing the photo. "You realize thats a fake gun, right?" Red raised an eyebrow as she asked as Wendy turned the phone to me so I could look. Looking at it now you can see how it was clearly made of plastic. Why didnt I notice that before? I felt my heart sink again whilst Wendy started to read the messages and the girls looked shook. This isnt how I wanted this to go. Why is it bad? I looked down at my drink noticing my reflection, I looked...bigger than normal? Probably nothing. I'm overheating again.

"Heidi, this isn't okay." Bebe said to me probably noticing how I looked upset. "He isnt treating you right and is being horribly toxic to you." "No he isnt. He loves me." "He didnt even say he did." "You don't know that!" I yelled at her and I heard the whole resturant get silent for a moment and the girls looked shocked at me yelling, I was always that one peaceful girl who never yelled so it was weird for me to. "He loves me and I don't fucking care if you cant even realize it." I continued now cursing, I hated cursing. I stood up and placed some money down for the drink I ordered and started to leave, as I did I overheard something.

"Did you guys notice that she said 'fucking' like how Cartman does? With the longer 'Fu.'" What ever. So what? It didnt matter. I rolled my eyes and walked out the resturant before realizing they drived me here. Ill just call Eric to take me home.

I grabbed my phone calling him waiting for him to answer. "What?" he said with a low, aggitated voice once he answered the call. "Hey, lovebug. Can you pick me up?" "No." "Oh, okay. Love you." "Yeah, same." he said before hanging up.

"Hes just scared." I repeated in my head, "Just scared."