Sisterly Secrets

Chapter I: Present Day

    It was a bright Sunday in April, the sun shining on my face through the windows, my alarm clock blaring in my ears, screaming at me to get up and get ready for church. Getting up
and ready for me was never a problem, but the morning was different. It felt warmer and cozier than usual, which was odd given that I was at a friend's house. My best friend to be exact. Trust me, I love Eleanor, but it's better to sleep in my bed, where I'm not being kicked all night.
    I pulled the covers off my head, keeping my eyes closed, as to not be blinded by the light. I reached where I knew the nightstand always was, but there was no nightstand. Just more covers, a lot of covers. Hard covers, maybe? No, a person. Did I just turn the wrong way? I turned the other way to reach for my phone to shut it off. There was nothing, only air in my grasp. I opened my eyes, reluctantly letting in the sunshine. Where was I? This was not Elle's room. Had I imagined being at her house last night, was I at someone else's home? The room was so familiar. This had to be Eleanor's house, I rarely ever went anywhere else.
    I slowly rolled back over, scared to see the sleeping body on the other side of me. No.. no, no, no, no. Shit. Ezra. I was lying in bed with Ezra, tangled under the covers. I scrambled out of bed, finding my phone in the sheets and turning my alarm off. I stood there just looking at him for a few moments with panic before noticing my top was gone. Booty shorts and a bra, in Ezra's bed, on a Sunday. Great, just great.
    Everything started coming back to me after a minute. I put on my shirt and grabbed my phone, hurrying to get back to Eleanor's room. I paused before walking out. I had to wake Ezra.
    "Ezra." I nudged him a little in hopes he would open his eyes. "Ezra, wake up right now!" I whispered and screamed at the same time. He opened his eyes and looked into mine.
    "Well, good morning sunshine." He smirked and sat up, reaching for me.
    "Ezra come on get up, be serious, we have church in an hour get ready. I have to get back to Eleanor's room before she ever finds out I left."
    "So we're just not gonna talk about last night?" He looked up at me, eyebrows raised. "You can't leave yet Spencer."
    "Please Ezra, just- leave it alone. Last night was more than I ever meant to do." I put my hands on the bed frame, leaning forward with my weight.
    "Spencer we have to talk about this at some point, that wasn't nothing."
    "I'm aware of that Ezra, but it's Sunday morning, we have church, and I've got a sleepy Eleanor in there that I need to wake up. We will talk about it at some point I promise, I just...don't know when that will be." Ezra looked at me with a sincere expression on his face.
    "Okay. I guess I better get ready then." He sighed and stood up out of bed. There he was, standing tall with his disheveled dirty-blonde hair. My eyes went down his body, to his toned stomach, and thick thighs, standing in only his boxers.
    "Yeah, I'm gonna go..." I turned to walk out the door, but I stopped. Something within me, even after knowing how wrong it was, told me to turn around.
    Ezra's eyes met mine, and we both stepped in closer. Closer. Closer. There we were, standing so close I could just lean forward and kiss him at any moment. I wanted to, more than anything, but my best friend was right across the living room, a door down, just moments from waking up. I couldn't do it. Eleanor would freak out if she saw me kissing a boy in her house. Hell, what was I talking about? This was her brother for Christ's sake! I couldn't do it. But I did.
    I pulled Ezra in roughly by his shirt, kissing him deeply from the moment our lips met. His hands fell on my hips, pulling my body close to his own. I could feel the warmth between us, we both wanted this so badly. My fingers ran through his hair, tugging at it here and there. I wanted this to go on forever. I wanted to relive last night more than anything, but I knew I couldn't. I slowed the kiss down and pulled back with hesitation.
    "Ezra..." I didn't know what to say.
    "I know, I know, I'm sorry-"
    "I'm not sorry. I want you, Ezra, I want this, I want us. I want it more than I want anything right now." I looked down at my feet, feeling ashamed, knowing what Eleanor would think.
    "But not right now. We can't do anything around Eleanor. She can never, and I mean never find out if we do this."
    " She won't, we won't let her." Ezra pulled me close, hugged me tightly, and kissed me on the forehead. "I know we both love her, but we've got something here Spence. I feel it."
    "I feel it too. Every waking second of my life."
    I pulled away from Ezra and kissed him on the cheek one last time before leaving his room. I tiptoed across the Jones's living room floor and into the hall where Eleanor's room was. It was so quiet, I prayed that no one was already awake and that I wouldn't wake them myself. When I walked into Eleanor's room I was pleased to find her still fast asleep in bed. I made sure that there was no trace of Ezra on me before waking Eleanor up. I sat on the edge of the bed, taking in everything I remembered from the night before. Eleanor would never know, she couldn't.
    As if on time, my 5-minute late alarm went off, shaking me out of my thoughts and waking Eleanor up.
    "Good morning sleepy head, I let you sleep in."
    "Is it really time to get up already? It's so early," she whined.
    "Yes silly and it is not early, it's 9:00." I pulled the covers off of Eleanor in hopes to get her out of bed.
    "I'm getting up, leave me alone!" She pulled the covers off and reached across me for her phone. "What are you wearing? I wanna match you."
    "I'm wearing my leggings and the green sweater that we got at the concert last month."
    "OMG yes! I love that sweater." She jumped over me and out of bed, excited at the thought of us wearing our favorite sweaters.
"We need some church after last night," I laughed. I hoped to see what she remembered.
"For real! Cards Against Humanity was so fun. It made me get along with Ezra for a little bit too." She giggled and sighed.
"But seriously, there is no way you think this is early, you have to get up at 5:00 for school."
"It's called bantering, Spence." She rolled her eyes and giggled while grabbing her makeup and sitting at her vanity.
After putting on my clothes and my makeup, I went to the bathroom to straighten my hair. I walked in assuming no one else was in the bathroom, given that the door was open. I assumed wrong. There was Ezra, naked, waiting to get in the shower. I gasped and stood there for a moment, forgetting everything around me. Our eyes met and for a second lust coursed through my veins, wanting to run to him and relive the night before. And just as fast as it came, the moment was gone, my instincts kicking back in, telling me to leave.
"Oh my gosh, Ezra, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-" I covered my eyes, and walked out of the bathroom, making sure to close the door behind me.
"No, that was my fault, I should have closed the door. Sorry, Spencer," he said through the door. I knew as soon as I walked through her door, I would be questioned by Eleanor. And I was right.
"What happened? Who were you talking to?" She looked at me concerned.
"It was Ezra... he decided he wasn't going to close the door before showering."
"Oh. Wait did you..."
"Yes, I just saw your brother butt ass naked," I laughed, feeling guilty that I had already seen him like that the night before.
"Oh my god!" She giggled too, and I felt at ease with the sound of her laughter.
    Once we arrived at church I found my parents and greeted them and my brother, Sammy. Our families sat together every Sunday, one thing I was happy about that would never change. As Eleanor's younger siblings made their way back to the kid's Sunday School class, Eleanor, Ezra, and I found our seats. I sat down on the farthest end of the pew, away from all the parents. Eleanor sat on my left, and Ezra on my right. As the pastor gathered his notes I had only one thing on my mind, and it wasn't God. It was Ezra. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. I knew that he was the worst one I could pick, yet I still let myself fall into his trap of eroticism.
    Halfway through the service, Eleanor got up to take Oliver, their younger brother to the bathroom, leaving me and Ezra alone at the end of our row. I looked down and tried to avoid eye contact, as I had tried to all morning. I knew that when I looked Ezra in the eyes, that would be the end of me. It was always easy for me to get along with him as a friend, but now we had shared something extraordinarily special. I could never look at Ezra the same again. Ezra reached his hand over slightly and set it on my thigh, gently stroking me with his thumb. I felt butterflies violently fill my stomach and my heart begin to beat faster. I wanted nothing more than to run away with Ezra to somewhere no one would ever find us, somewhere we could do whatever we wanted. Despite my longing, I pushed his hand off me and shot him a glare. We couldn't do this, especially not in church where God and everybody could see.
    When church ended, everyone was mingling and catching up on all the latest gossip. God knows, no one can keep their mouth shut about Mrs. Brooks next door, and how she's on her 5th husband in the past 3 and a half years. Meanwhile, my and Eleanor's families figured out where we would all be going for lunch. Of course, with so many people, settling on something everyone would enjoy was almost impossible.
     "I think Mexican would be good," my dad said.
    "Dad, we eat Mexican almost every week, can you pick something else for once?"
    "Me personally, I think AppleBees sounds good," Eleanor cut in.
    "Elle, why don't we go to Coltons? That sounds good and it's like AppleBees," I added. Everyone looked at each other, our facial expressions saying it all.
    "I think Coltons sounds delightful, Spencer," Ezra said, looking into my eyes and looking away just as quickly as he said it.
    "Coltons it is," Elle and Ezra's dad, Dean, said.
    After lunch, I went back to Elle's house to gather my belongings. Ezra had to use the bathroom, so he let me in the house while the others waited in the car. As we walked in the door I contemplated getting my things and getting out or talking to Ezra. I decided on both.
    "Ezra," I said walking to Eleanor's room to grab my bag.
    "Spencer, last night was... it felt like a dream."
    "Yeah, it was," I replied, "but what are we, Ezra? We have been doing this for so long, and we've never even been able to put a label on it."
    "I thought we were just messing around from the beginning. You said you couldn't be in a relationship with me because of Eleanor. So I thought that all this sneaking around was just for fun."
    "Is that all you think of me, Ezra? Am I just pleasure to you?" I was ready to raise my voice at any second.
"No, Spencer, you mean more than that. I promise." He walked up to me, taking my hands and holding them tightly.
"I just feel like there's something special here. I mean we've been doing things for this long, would it be all that hard to hide a relationship? Is that not what this already is?"
"When this started, I just wanted what every teenage boy wanted. I wanted to touch and to be touched. But as I've grown and we've seen each other more, I see potential in us Spence. I think that we could be something good and real. I just never said anything because of Eleanor." He looked into my eyes and stepped closer. "I love you, Spencer Wood."
"I... I love you, Ezra Jones."
At that moment, I knew there was no turning back. I committed to Ezra, behind Elle's back. I thought back to the very first time Ezra and I had kissed. The day the lying started, the day I said to myself "This can't happen," and yet here we are three years later... Fuck.