Lexi is broken.
And what does that mean? It means that she needs someone to heal her heart. Put the pieces back together.
That can't be Finn though, right? Because he is broken as well. Almost at the same places as her.
But two broken hearts creat...
It wouldn't be me if I didn't released a chapter sooner than I was supposed to. I couldn't wait any longer tho ;)
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Sometimes you just want the whole world to stop.
You want to quiet the voices inside your head.
They're screaming so loud that you can't hear yourself talk.
So loud that it feels like it's going to make your ears bleed.
Your hands are uncontrollably shaking, leg jumping and you're zoning out every minute.
You try to smile so no one would worry about you. Be there for others because you know that there are people who have it harder than you.
But that mask we wear falls every time we're alone. When no one is looking.
It's the time when we're looking at the ceiling at three am, lost in out thoughts.
Thought of what would happen if we were just gone. Would it be easier? Would it still hurt? Would the pain just go away instantly?
But those thoughts stay just thoughts.
Because it's selfish, isn't it? Make someone love you and then leave. Check out of their life.
You didn't ask to be loved but suddenly you are and the choice to leave was taken away from you with the snap of a finger.
You look into your sibling, friends, or family's eyes and you know that you can't leave them because it would destroy them. And they don't deserve that.
So you live. No. You exist. A body without a soul. But hey, at least we smile, right? And that makes the people around us feel better. That's all that matters at the end of the day.
It doesn't matter that we're strangers in our own bodies. That we try to shut everything out when we're not around people we care about.
Trying to find ways to stop the pain.
Replace the psychological pain with the physical one.
Get beat up to the point where you just don't feel and the whole world is silent for once. Your head is finally quiet and peaceful.
But then they see us. The day after, our body damaged, but they don't know that in our head we're damaged more.
And the pity in their eyes makes us want to end it all.
They blame themselves. Say that if they did something different we wouldn't be this way.
And maybe they're right. We wouldn't be here but six feet under.
But of course, they don't want to hear that.
So we lie.
We do that so much that we can't even tell the difference between lie and truth ourselves anymore.
