DANIELA

Chapter 5: Groups

Mondays and Wednesdays at noon don't change my situation with her, only Tuesdays and Wednesdays, the days I have that group subject. But even though it's a group setting, I barely got the chance to form a group with Daniela again because this time there were more variables than before. There were more people who talked to her with familiarity, especially more outgoing guys. Sometimes I started to think, maybe she already has someone in her life, and I'm inserting myself where I don't belong. Perhaps that's the case. The times I had to form a group with her, I couldn't find the opportunity to talk to her. While I was focused on that, the other side of me, unrelated to her, had changed significantly. Remember the classmate with whom I formed a group? Well, now we talk better and form a group together every class after engaging in casual conversation. His name is Juan, and since Daniela's friend noticed that we knew what we were doing, she would join our group whenever she could (along with Daniela). We would finish quickly, and that's how the days passed.

Then, one time while we were working on an activity, a person casually approached Daniela while she was configuring the equipment. They were talking freely, and suddenly they started discussing something. He asked her, "How was the party yesterday? I left early." She replied, "Yeah, I was there for a few minutes, then I left too." He followed up, "And your boyfriend?" She answered, "I don't have one. I don't focus on those things." Laughter filled the conversation. At first, I felt envy, but soon, a mix of jealousy and excitement took over. I didn't like how she spoke so amiably with the opposite sex. Another incident that disconnected me was when we were in the middle of an activity, finally talking, and the same guy from before touched Daniela's neck playfully during a game, as if he was teasing her to get her attention. I saw that, and at that moment, a feeling of sadness rushed over me, the first time I felt that way after recovering. I focused on the activity more seriously, trying to conceal my sadness while Daniela continued talking with her friend.

Since I witnessed that, something changed. Daniela and her friend ceased their familiarity. They still talked, but not with the same level of confidence as before, and the playful interactions seemed unlikely to happen again. Without giving it much thought, I continued with my own thoughts and occasional fictional scenarios. I started to think that maybe Daniela liked me, and my misinterpretation of the previous day's playful exchange clouded my judgment. Obviously, I saw this thought as a dream. I didn't believe it had actually happened. The most logical explanation was that maybe she got annoyed, expressed it to her friend, and they reached an understanding. Yes, that's the most plausible explanation.

From that day on, I noticed more distance between her and her friend, not to the point of not talking, but everything seemed more reserved. While I saw this with hopeful eyes, I knew my negative thoughts were unfounded. It was absurd to think that she was mine when no one else knew about it. But something was happening behind the scenes. While I focused on Daniela, her friend started talking to me more than I expected. Maybe it was just kindness, but I never paid much attention to her. I was more attracted to Daniela, although her friend was beautiful too. I even thought she might be more beautiful than Daniela, but these feelings towards her were superficial. I barely looked at her, and every time I saw her, I felt more comfortable speaking. We talked about various topics, the subjects we were taking, the ones I was taking, and she only took this subject in common with me. She would always complain about how difficult it was, and sometimes Juan would join the conversation. It was the friendship that developed unintentionally, despite everything happening with Daniela's friend. I didn't change the way I saw Daniela, and I always focused on breaking down the barrier that I myself had created.