Melodies of love I. - For a second

Chapter 9: Dorian

My head was pounding, I could barely stand on my feet, and I couldn't remember how I got home. To me, it all looked like I blinked twice and was standing in front of my own home instead of the Reed house. I headed for the door with indecisive steps, but after the first step, a strong arm wrapped around my waist. He held me to keep me from falling over and even pressed his full lips to my neck. Yet I felt more fear behind his actions than love or affection.

Mason stroked me gently, cuddled me, and held me as if for the last time. I turned to the side, kissed him on the cheek, and he sighed deeply. I couldn't understand why he was acting like that. I hadn't even thought of abandoning him, yet he was trembling with fear. I began to suspect that I had done something during the party to cause him to be so frightened, but I wondered in vain. I couldn't figure out what it was.

After a little cuddling, he stepped in front of me, held out both hands, his index fingers on each, and made an inviting gesture. Even intoxicated, I understood what he wanted, so after he took my hand, I walked with him to the door. I handed him my key so we could somehow get in, and he even helped me out of my shoes while I leaned against the wall, trying not to collapse.

Mason held me gently and slowly helped me up the stairs, which again made me feel like I couldn't have a better boyfriend. Not only did he try to make it work, he treated me well, helping me where he could, and he was good-looking. It was no coincidence that Lance and Eli both said he was the guy they could imagine me with.

Wait a minute. When did Eli ever say that? I couldn't recall the moment when that statement left his mouth, but I knew for sure that he had said it. I stopped for a moment at the top of the stairs before Mason looked down at me curiously.

He was signing something, probably asking me what was wrong, but I couldn't read his gestures in this state. In response, I put my arms around his neck, snuggled up to him, and for a few seconds, I could only smell his lavender-like scent, which immediately calmed me down. He laughed softly as I almost buried my nose under his shirt, and finally, he put his arms around me, slowly caressing my back. I was encouraged by the alcohol, maybe even a little turned on by his closeness, so I lifted my head to kiss my boyfriend.

But Mason stopped me, and pushed me away as if he never wanted anything to do with me again. I looked into his brown eyes, broken, now certain I had done something to make him angry with me. He turned away from me with pursed lips and led me into my room. I was torn apart with guilt, even though I didn't know what I had done to anger him. I never knew a sweeter boy than Mason. He even forgave me for the move I had made on Conor yesterday, even though I had already told him I wanted to try again. And yet I was able to hurt his feelings. I couldn't even use the excuse that I couldn't remember what it was. Alcohol is no excuse for anything, especially when I've hurt him.

Even though he had just pushed me away, I immediately hugged Mason as soon as he stopped me by my bed. I couldn't let him go. I didn't want to lose him. After all, just because I wasn't in love with him, he was important to me. And I didn't want to be left alone. I surprised him. For a few seconds, he just let me hold him, then when I whispered all sorts of apologies into his shoulder, he finally put his arm around me. I crumpled his shirt as if Mason was the only thing I had to hold on to. And it felt like, on some level, that was really the truth since I didn't see any chance of anyone else wanting to be with me.

I leaned away from him, and before he could react, I pressed my lips to his soft ones. This time he didn't push me away. He kissed me back. He stroked my waist with one hand, the other lingered at my hip, slowly reaching under my shirt, slipping his finger into my belt buckle. I put everything into this kiss. Whatever I did at the party, I wanted to show him that I only wanted to be with him. Sex had convinced all the boys so far. As soon as I agreed to sleep with them, suddenly, they didn't want to leave me alone.