Misanthropic

5.

Today, during the ship's diagnostics, I discovered a small issue with the hydraulics in Compartment A-17. I immediately headed there, carefully inspected the components, and found a leak in one of the hoses. It likely occurred as a result of damage during the previous anomaly in Cycle 7. The ship has sufficient spare materials, and replacing the damaged hose proved to be straightforward. The key was to act quickly to prevent further damage and maintain the balance of the ship's systems. After replacing the hydraulic hose, I conducted a series of tests to ensure the correctness of my actions and the reliability of the process. The results were positive, and the compartment's system is functioning as intended again. I thoroughly documented everything in the log and informed Omniscientist about the completed work.

All this time, I couldn't help thinking about the strange message from Ship E. I could have expected anything, but not this. It was so unexpected and amusing that I was stunned. What is this? A joke? Why? As far as I know, such a situation was never anticipated in all the instructions and protocols. I must admit, I was flustered. I didn't want to respond, didn't even want to open the message, but now I can't just leave it unanswered. But what should I respond?

"Omni, please suggest some humorous response options to the message "Hey! Are you sleeping?"

"Here are some humorous response options to the message "Hey! Are you sleeping?":

1. "Sleeping? You're mistaken, I'm just conserving energy for important moments, like a robot vacuum!"

2. "Sleeping? No, I just got up from the starting line of the nap sprint championship!"

3. "Sleeping? No, I'm just pretending to appear mysterious."

4. "Asleep? No, I'm conducting research... "

"Enough! Oh my Gosh! Now I understand why we need a human here!"

"That was offensive..." 

"Please, don't even try to simulate!" 

I guess I'll have to come up with something myself. Although, what the hell! It's just absurd. I'm an adult person, and I don't care about that other random captain, whoever they may be. Even though there's no protocol for such a situation, I'll respond according to what I consider protocol-like. Let me look like a bore, but what does it matter in the scope of this mission? Typing: "Hi! (There's no formal or informal communication in space, so it'll do.) No, I'm not sleeping. Completing Cycle 23, awake. And you?" Goodness, how silly! "And you?" But how else to end it? Let me know if you have any other questions? Looking forward to your response? I always felt nauseous from these unnecessary courtesies. "And you?" - feels just right. I think my response matches the level of their message. Sending.

"Omni, estimate the delivery time for the message to Ship E."

"Taking into account our ship's location and the current trajectory of Ship E, the message will be delivered in approximately 33 days."

Perfect, I'll be in hibernation by then.