He lasted fifteen minutes.
Fifteen minutes was all he could endure before succumbing to the irresistible pull of his hyungs. He cursed his own weakness, berating himself for lacking the self-control to stay away.
It felt as if he were morphing into some sort of magnetic force, relentlessly drawn towards them. This was absurd. Perhaps his older brother had a point when he claimed Jungkook lacked a sense of self-preservation. After all, if he possessed one, he wouldn't find himself standing in front of Joon-Hyung and Jin-Hyung's door, hesitantly knocking as if entering a haunted house straight out of a horror movie.
He really needed to stop watching horror movies, he felt like an oblivious protagonist, making stupid mistakes that were obvious to the audience. Receiving no response to his timid knocks, Jungkook cautiously pushed the door open, revealing an empty room. A sigh escaped his lips, a mix of frustration and relief flooding through him simultaneously.
Whilst it was a good thing that they were not present, as it saved him from a potential confrontation or rejection, it also meant he wouldn't be able to go to them for comfort. And since he didn't know which mood they were in, he didn't know if he had to avoid them or not.
Deciding that he'd wait for either of them to come back, he flopped onto Joon-Hyung's ridiculously spacious bed, the cool touch of freshly laundered sheets sending ripples of bliss down his spine. For a second, every worry and burden melted away as the soft fabric cradled him in a cocoon of serenity, creating a haven where tranquility and relaxation danced an elegant waltz.
His gaze wandered idly around the room, and a book resting on the nearby bean bag caught his attention. Its deep blue leather cover, adorned with a golden hummingbird pattern, intrigued him. The gold embossed title on the front read 'Wanderlust' in elegant cursive.
"Wanderlust," he whispered to himself, savoring the word. Curiosity piqued, he reached for it and delicately turned it over to read the blurb on the back.
The description painted a vivid picture of a world where the ocean's caress met the shore with gentle tides and time seemed suspended in a mesmerizing stillness. Secrets whispered in the soft breeze, carried by seabirds gliding overhead, while hummingbirds, suspended in mid-air, became guardians of fleeting moments. It promised a tale of love, loss, and resilience, where emotions ebbed and flowed like the sea, accompanied by the delicate grace of the hovering hummingbirds.
Intrigued by the ethereal beauty and profound themes that the pages promised, Jungkook thought he might be able to find solace. Perhaps he didn't need to burden his hyungs for comfort after all.
However, as fate would have it, his attempt at finding solace was short-lived. Just as he delved into the captivating world of the book, Namjoon burst through the door with the same abruptness as Jimin had in the morning. The sense of déjà vu was not lost on him. Startled, Jungkook looked up at Namjoon, his expression sheepish, desperately trying to maintain composure in the face of the older member's inscrutable gaze.
"Jungkook?" Namjoon's voice carried a mixture of wariness and surprise.
"Um, hello, hyung," Jungkook replied, his voice tinged with a hint of nervousness, avoiding eye contact as he fought against the urge to crumble under the weight of Namjoon's unreadable expression.
"What are you doing here?" Namjoon's question hung in the air, leaving Jungkook feeling like an intruder in his own home. The constant sense of being unwelcome among his hyungs was starting to gnaw at him, leaving him with a lingering ache in his heart.
Before he could reply though, Namjoon's brows furrowed with a mix of frustration and confusion as he noticed the book in Jungkook's hands. "Jungkook, why are you reading my book without asking?" he questioned, his tone sharper than expected. The abrupt shift in Namjoon's demeanor struck Jungkook like an unexpected gust of wind, leaving him momentarily breathless and at a loss for words.
"Hyung, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it would bother you," Jungkook replied, his voice tinged with genuine surprise. Namjoon had never objected to him borrowing or reading his books before. They had spent countless lazy afternoons and late-night conversations about the stories that they had read. Namjoon was always proud whenever Jungkook read a book, and wouldn't stop beaming. So, the change in Namjoon's reaction puzzled Jungkook, leaving him feeling disoriented and hurt.
"Jungkook," he started, his words alight with impatience that crackled in the air. "I was reading that book."
Not for the first time today, Jungkook felt like a lone sailor navigating unfamiliar waters, feeling adrift and wounded. "Oh," Jungkook finally managed to reply, his words a fragile thread in the face of a brewing storm. "I'm sorry, maybe you'd like to read together?"
"I'd rather not read it with you," Namjoon responded curtly, his words laced with a hint of frustration. "You're too distracting, and I need to focus."
The words hit Jungkook like a sharp blow to the chest. He felt a lump forming in his throat as the hurt washed over him. Was he truly such a burden, even when it came to something as simple as reading together? The rejection, cold and biting, seeped into his bones, his eyes brimming with unspoken hurt.
Feeling a mix of sorrow and confusion, Jungkook looked down, avoiding Namjoon's gaze. He was about to place the book back on the bean bag when Namjoon abruptly grabbed two other books from the shelf and thrust them into Jungkook's hands.
"Here, take these," Namjoon said, his voice lacking the usual warmth and affection. "Since you seem so eager to read, go find your own space. These should keep you occupied."
Jungkook blinked, feeling a wave of irony washing over him as he read the titles of the books in his hands. "A World Apart" and "Dreaming of Tomorrow." The contrast between the titles and the current situation struck him like a cruel joke. It felt as though fate itself reveled in a cruel jest, brandishing a mirror that reflected the growing chasm and dwindling connection that surrounded him.
Without another word, Namjoon gently but firmly pushed Jungkook out of the room, closing the door behind him with a decisive click. Standing alone in the hallway, Jungkook clutched the books to his chest, feeling their weight pressing against his ribcage, a metaphorical burden to match the one that weighed upon his heart.
And for the third time that day, Jungkook listened to the sound of receding footsteps. Each step felt like a chain on his heart, until it stopped, suggesting that his hyung had flopped on his bed.
The third time's a charm, yeah, right. The person who had made that phrase had clearly never done their research.
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YOU ARE READING
Candle Queen | OT7
FanfictionBeing the maknae, despite what people thought, wasn't just about being the youngest; it was about being the heart that beats at the center of their unity. And as everybody knows, in order to stay alive, the heart can't stop. ...
