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They say that I am pretty when I cry... but he made me feel prettier when I cry with him, not without him...
20 November
It's been ten months, torture, almost a year, I am in London, with but without him. He is in hospital, I don't know if he is still alive or not, no one announcement me, well I didn't let them in either.
I am staying on the stairs, our room..., in the bathtub, floor, chairs, on our couch were we used to stay together. I am looking at the ceiling, the dark clouds outside, the floor, the walls, clock showing the how much time it has been, the dead flower he las time brought me, daisies, the furniture, my fingers, my knees.
I am waiting for an answer, to tell me someone that he opened his eyes, his bright brown eyes, that his lips are moving, that his body is moving again and not just standing on a bed.
The same thing comes back in my mind over and over again, when I put my head on his chest and could hear his heart, then he closed his eyes. He said I love you, I kissed where his heart is and I said I love you too, tears going on his chest. After that I don't remember much, but I know I woke up in a hospital.
After a while I was out, but he wasn't awake. I visited him every day, talking to him everything, I wish that he heard me. I promised him that I will never leave him.
Flashback
"Hey amor, I am back, sorry I've been gone" I looked at him waiting for a respond, but never got one "today I...I went to a photo shoot, for adidas, I went and to the stadium, I thought for a second I saw you there..." I looked at him with a little water in my eyes, trying not to let it out.
"For some seconds I could saw you on the stadium playing with your teammates " I went down to his ear and whispered putting my hand over his ear "maybe you sneaked out of here" I laughed sadly "I would that too if I was in your place"
"So how had you been? I will let you talk if you can hear me" I took his hand in mine kissing it slightly. I wish he can hear me and now he is talking to me.
"You had a beautiful day amor, I wish we could spend it together, but we are doing it right now, what should we do?" Silence "maybe let's imagine when you are waking up and coming out of here"
"Hmm, I promise you that when you are coming out, we are going to have the best day, we will go to cinema to see a horror movie, than we will come home, and maybe cook some biscuits, does that sound good? I wish it does "
Silence
It's killing me
It started raining, I could hear the water "please answer me baby, please" I said my voice cracking "I miss your voice" my voice cracked even more
