Shadow of the Prophecy

Ch.7 - I Wish You Cared a Little More; I Wish You'd Told Me This Before

Helena Haggerty

December of her 4th year

She is not sure how to ask him.

Helena had been bold in her letter to Theodore in a way that had bordered on improper. Yes, he had asked her who she had planned to attend the ball with, but it was not the womanly thing to do to make her designs known. If Theo had wanted to take her to the celebration, he would have asked her; That he hadn't should have been her indication of the state of his feelings on the matter. But then he had smiled at her and asked her to write to him, and he had been gone before classes could even begin the next day. That she had not even had the opportunity for a proper farewell had caused her significant stress considering his family's history.

As Helena had sat in the library the night before Theodore's birthday, she had found herself unable to join her peers to eat due to her roiling stomach. It had broken her heart that Theodore should live in a family so devoid of affection. Since Helena's discovery of magic, her family was no longer quite so close, but they still loved each other. Helena still received an owl from her own mother every week. On the other hand, the only letter from Theodore's father she had ever seen him receive was a demand.

Theodore had laughed hollowly when she had suggested that his family meant to celebrate his birthday, and Helena has been on edge ever since. It was clear that his family either held little love for each other or expressed it poorly. Little wonder, then, that he was interested in poetry. Most poets spoke long and often of love; It was a thing every individual deserved to experience.

The thought had led her to introspection. That she was in love with Theodore Sallow had never been a question in her mind. She had known from neigh on the first day she had met him that she was his. The only question appeared to be if that was what Theodore wanted. He had asked her who she had planned to attend the ball with, and it had not been proper etiquette to tell him. Still, Helena had not been able to help but wonder if his family had trouble expressing love, and that Theodore might likewise have trouble recognizing it.

It was always possible that perhaps Theodore did not understand the more subtle hints of romantic affections she had been giving him. He was always patient and a perfect gentleman, and was a wonderful friend. It would not have surprised her at all if he held back his own feelings out of some misguided idea of respect for their friendship.

No, if Theodore was not used to subtlety in love, then he deserved to have her be more direct. Theodore deserved to know that he was important to someone; especially on his birthday. She had written the note and sent along her copy of Browning with ' A Man's Requirements ' marked out so there could be little room for doubt. Then, Helena had waited, and three days later she had found herself back in their spot in the library with a quill and parchment; still waiting.

Only, Helena does not know how to ask Theodore how he had received her letter. He had asked her to write to him, and so she had, but he had given no response of his own. It was beginning to drive her out of her mind with nervousness.

She is chewing on her fingernail and staring out at the grounds when Basil sits heavily in the chair beside her.

"Here," Basil sighs, and Helena hears rummaging before an apple tart is slid into her line of sight. "Snuck it right by old Scribner. I have not seen you do more than pick at your food since Sallow returned home. I know you are nervous about your note, but your lack of self care is making me nervous, Helena."

Helena feels guilty at that and drops her quill with a sigh. Perhaps the best way to ask is not to ask at all. After all, if Theodore had wanted to invite her to the celebration, he certainly would have. Basil sinks back farther into her chair again and to Helena's discontent, yawns. There are dark, haunted circles under her pretty eyes that have appeared over the past week, and Basil has been far from as humorous as Helena is used to. Something is undoubtedly bothering Basil as well, and Helena is annoyed with herself that she has allowed Basil to care for her physical wellbeing in such a state.