Meant to Bee (A Chaotix Detective Agency fanfiction)

Changing the baby

Vector held the baby in one arm while he made calls to some of his informants. Espio was busy at the computer looking up info on any Bee families in the city.

"Yeah, I was wondering if you'd heard anything about a missing kid," Vector asked one of his friends on the police force. "A baby. Bumble bee, male..."

The baby started to cry.

"Shh, shh. It's alright, little guy." Vector glanced at the phone. "No, not you, Badge."

He adjusted his arm, but the baby kept crying. He growled. "Badge, I can't hear you. I'm gonna have to call you back later." He hung up and rocked the baby. "What's going on, huh?"

He leaned in, then held the baby out as he caught a whiff of something nasty. "Ugh! I think I solved that mystery."

A look of panic crossed Espio's face. "Please don't tell me he needs a diaper change."

The two guys stared at one another. "What do we do?" asked Vector.

"Well, we can't leave him like that."

Vector rubbed his head. The thought of having to deal with a dirty diaper, plus the smell that was getting stronger, was starting to make his stomach turn. He groaned. "We're gonna need, like, supplies and stuff."

Espio pulled out their cash box from its secret compartment under the desk. It only held a few twenties and some odd change. A reminder that they needed to solve some more cases before rent was due. Espio grabbed one of the twenties. "I'll go to the store."

"Wait, don't leave me with--"

Espio was already out the door.

Vector held the baby out awkwardly to keep from getting anything nasty on himself. He bounced him gently and walked around the agency, trying to make him stop crying. It didn't work very well.

Since there was no one around to hear, Vector hummed a little lullaby. His voice was kinda gravelly for singing, but it calmed the little guy down to just some quiet sniffling.

Vector cut off singing when the door opened a few minutes later. Espio walked in and held up a bag full of various packages of diapers and other things. "I don't know why there are so many diaper options," he grumbled.

Vector picked up a package and examined it. "Do these things come with directions or something?"

"Apparently not." Espio sliced open a few of the packages with his kunai and pulled out some individual diapers. He held them up to the baby in turn, seeming to check if they'd fit. He picked out one with little cartoon flickies on it that looked roughly the size of the baby's waist. He laid it out, along with a container of wipes and some baby powder.

"Well, I guess we'd better do this." Vector said.

"Here. I also got these." Espio pulled out a package of rubber gloves and masks. "We'll need hazardous waste protection."

They suited up, put a cloth over one of their tables to keep it clean, and got to work.

The process actually didn't take too long, although they had to switch off a couple of times when one of them started to get nauseous. Battles and gore they could handle, bodily functions... not so much. But they got the little guy cleaned up, which took a lot since it seemed like he hadn't been changed in a couple of days. They disposed of the old diaper in the dumpster outside and got the new diaper fastened snugly but not too tightly around the baby's little waist. Vector added a couple of pieces of duct tape, just to make sure it was secure.

After washing up, Vector wrapped the baby in an old shirt in place of the dirty blanket. The trio collapsed on the couch, exhausted.

"Well, at least now we know what to do for next time," Espio said.

Vector glared at him. "Don't even mention a next time." He rubbed the baby's head. "We gotta find this little dude's family."