Cashew

Notions and beyond

And the sun came up as fast as it went down. The bags were ready and so was our car it's an old one so we are hoping it survives the long drive perhaps it's 5 hours. I won't miss this house nor town nor kids nor my life here. Change is better isn't it? we put our suitcases and bags at the back of the car. Then I opened the car door which made a squeaking noise followed by a loud noise. Every time i close the door my ears go numb . Sometimes i feel like i'm very ill,like I'm seriously almost dead. I can't breathe my head is filled with noises my eyes start hurting and words out of my mouth feel like they aren't coming from my mouth and then it hits me that everything is probably fake it doesn't exist ,but then i like to think that whatever i'm feeling is fake and this life is real and perhaps it's not that bad!!! I grabbed my cashews and grabbed my headphones ,because my dad's music style is terrible! It was going to be a good ride. The car took of steadily before i could put my seatbelt on. making me hit my head in the front seat it was fine tho,I have high pain resistance i think. I was listening to new flesh by current joys as the car brakes got pushed again... We arrived well that was quick! considering time doesn't fucking exist it really doesn't matter ,when i realised time is bull i have felt so much more free. And in few second or minutes ,or perhaps hours we reached our building we are living in an apartment now. This felt like a good moment to chew on some cashews so I did. When the salt and sweet hit my tastebuds i felt like i was in heaven even tho i doubt it exists or maybe it does law of assumptions really wanders my mind too often or am I wandering it's mouth. Whatever i don't wanna know. My shoes are creased and dirty but i don't have time to clean them whatsoever,my dad got out the keys i smiled .I feel happy but my emotions are really weird it's either a feeling of eternal happiness or a volcano of anger ,infinite ocean of sadness or just a room if emptiness. But i felt happy at that moment i feel happy now I will feel happy as I said time doesn't exist so u can use any tense i want. Back to the story we went up an old staircase made from cobblestone as we reached our door an old white door and before i could comprehend the key clicked right into the hallway