lines that I couldn't change

Dec picked up two steaming mugs of tea, one green, one builder's, and carried them to the table, trying to avoid burning his knuckles.

The open plan kitchen, recently decorated, was bright with natural summer light. Radio 2 was on low, and the French doors were wide open onto a large garden you wouldn't know was in London. Well, it wasn't really. Surrey. Borderline. The dogs, worn out from greeting each other, lazed in a patch of sun.

"Ta, love," Ant looked up, and smiled as he clocked the mug. "Oh, I see!"

"That's yours from now on. Minimise future damage."

"Can you not afford new mugs? What is it? Not being paid enough?"

Dec grinned, walking back over from the counter with a banana.

"I'm not throwing it away because it's chipped, what would me mam say?"

"Uh. She'd say Declan, you stop being mean to Anthony there. Get him one of the nice ones" He joked, adopting a passable Irish brogue.

"Shut up and drink your tea. That's what your mam'd say to you." He retorted playfully, as he pulled his chair out. "Alright. What we got here then?"

Ant waited for him to sit down, and spun round the piece of paper he'd come through the front door brandishing ten minutes earlier. It was entitled

IDEAS: 40TH

"It's ideas."

"Yep."

"For our fortieth."

"I can see."

It was a single A4 sheet, and a mess of little shapes and faces, bar one bullet point that read: Space?

"Space?"

"I thought we could go ... to space." Ant threw his hands up in a shrug, and Dec burst out laughing. He sat back and crossed his arms, as if welcoming the pitch.

"What would we do in space?"

"We ... Well. Win the Ads. In space."

"Okay." Dec nodded. "Are we bringing the audience with us, or-?"

"They can stay in the rocket."

"Right. Of course." He sat back, his eyes shining with laughter.

"Or, I could write a novel." Ant continued.

"What happened to the rocket?"

"About a man ... who ... is in a double act."

"Oh yeah?" Dec smirked, and sipped his tea. "What happens?"

"That's all I've got." Ant shrugged.

"Does he have a friend?"

"No, he's just on his own. He does everything on his own." He replied, trying not to laugh.

"He does the double act on his own?"

"Yeah that's what it's about. He's a pioneer." Dec laughed out loud.

"Be weird for an anniversary, that." He offered. Ant winked at him, eyes shining and crinkled at the edges.

"Forty years, man." Ant sat back. "Forty?"

Dec wrapped a hand around his mug and looked down, smiling.

"We do have a meeting about this on Friday," He pointed out. "Charlotte's probably got loads of ideas."

"Yeah, whatever. I was bored, everyone's out."

Dec looked at him.

"Yeah."

He said the same thing last week. Everyone was out and he'd found a football documentary from the eighties on youtube he wanted to watch. He smiled, and got one in return.

"After Byker-"

"Oh here we go." Dec teased, crossing his arms.

"After Byker," Dec grinned and watched him fondly, knowing he was going to go through it all again. "We just got swept up. They told us what to do, how to do it, what shitty venues we were driving to up and down the country." He reminisced, gesticulating. "And we got through it."

"I never thought we would." Dec joked. He'd always been teased by his siblings for his rock-solid belief, his singular vision.

Ant gave a short laugh and looked over at Dec, holding his gaze.

"What?" Dec asked, jokingly looking behind him, and Ant smiled. He took a sip of his tea, and let the mug rest on the table, one hand wrapped around it. He scratched the back of his head absentmindedly.

"Nothing. I'm just thinking about it."

"Getting reflective in your old age."

"Oi!" He protested. "I'm younger than you."

"By two months."

"I'll always be younger than you."

"I'm not having this conversation again."

He laughed, and looked at Dec, surveying the lines around his eyes and the grey hairs flecking his temples.

"I loved you." He smiled broadly, cradling his tea.

Dec didn't say anything.

"I loved you," Ant said again, with more confidence. He shook his head, and looked back at Dec fondly, with a soft smile.

"I loved you."

"Not like that."

Dec cocked his head, admitting defeat.

"No."

Ant lay his hand out across the table and Dec took it in his, smiling sadly. He looked down as he rubbed his thumb softly across Ant's, at these hands of fifty-something year old men.

"When did we get this old, eh?" Dec asked, in a sniffly chuckle, and lifted his head a little to blink the tears back inside.

"Speak for yourself." Ant grinned, and Dec gave a short laugh, relieving some tension. Ant's fingertips softly grazed Dec's hand, and Dec ran his thumb across Ant's wrist.

"I love you," he said, his voice just above a whisper.

Ant nodded, unable to speak, and got a tight-lipped smile in response.

Well." Dec said, eventually, and smiled. He raised his mug. "Here's to the next forty years."

"The next forty years," Ant echoed, and raised his in return. "Ugh, we'll be so old."

'They both laughed.

"Yeah, I'll still be sexy though," Dec replied.

"Yeah, yeah!" Ant grinned, rolling his eyes. "Come on, let's take the dogs out."