What Could've Been

Chapter Eight

Was that a dream?

No. Definitely not.

I can see the receipt where his name and contact details were written. It's at the top of the cabinet beside my bed and I've been staring at it for so long now.

ET, or should I say Thomas, and I weren't really a hundred percent of a match. There were things which we failed to agree upon. His likes which I dislike, and vice versa.

But if there's one thing that connects us like a needle to the thread, that'd be the fact that we're both self sabotaging bastards. We're both the kind of people who resort to the last option without even trying the first one.

Kei clapped twice in front of my face to snap me out of my thoughts.

Shit shit shit

'Hindi ko kaya '

My friends groaned altogether. This is our third attempt already yet I still don't have the courage.

'Akin na nga! '

Nasagad na ang pasensya ni Ari. The reason she's been quiet the whole time is because she's trying to stop herself from snatching that phone off my hand.

'Ari wait! '

I begged and was about to take it back when Tina and Kei grabbed both sides of my arm. Why am I being ganged up like this?

Ari dialed it quick and put it on speakers.

Ringing...

Wag kang sasagot

Ringing...

'Hello? '

It took him some time to answer but hearing that voice is enough to make my body go numb for the nth time. I stopped squirming and just dropped my ass on the floor in defeat.

'Hello? '

He asked again. The three of them pushed me towards the phone while Kei whispered that I should answer immediately before he drops it.

'Ahh, Hey t-this is Vince... '

Both my hands and voice are trembling

Shit. That's it? Yeah. That's it.

I saw how my friends facepalmed almost in unison.

He didn't answer but I could hear his breathing from the other line.

'Bookstore, 2 PM '

I said then dropped the call as fast as I can while holding the crumpled sheet of paper against my chest which is the receipt his friend gave last night. All I did was say a few words but how come I'm already running out of strength?

1:30 PM

Glancing at the clock almost every three minutes is not a hobby of mine. Not until now. My friends refrained from bothering me. They're not saying anything to tease or to bug me. However, that did not lessen the anxiety.

' Alis na 'ko'

Fleetly barging out of my apartment, all I had in my head was him. What'd I say? How am I supposed to act? Screw that. First, I'll meet him then that's when I cross the bridge.

The city air's particularly frigid today. The cold is sipping in my sweater, making me feel as if I'm walking bare. To say that I'm nervous or anxious is an understatement.

'Welcome '

My shoes are lightweight yet every step I made approaching the book store were hefty. This place has been my spot for healing, for ailing homesickness, loneliness, and this time, to resolve my lovesickness.

Lovesickness that was long forgotten, mistaken to be non existent.

At exactly 2 PM, I saw him striding towards the store. Our eyes interlocked despite the glass barrier and the distance in between.

I'm going blank.

No. I was wrong.

There's actually a whirlpool of emotions inside of me that I can't think straight.

'Hi! Welcome back '

The cashier woman greeted sweetly upon his entrance but he did not bother to glance her way.

His eyes are glued on me. He's looking as if I'm the finish line and he's on a race. Like I'm the home-run and he's on a soccer match.

Like a goal he'd do everything to acquire. Not just for the sake of the game or winning.

but out of utter devotion.