What Could've Been

Chapter Five

We ordered eight bottles of Smirnoff and two bottles of gin as starter. It's been thirty minutes, more or less, and I can already sense the alcohol's effect on my friends; especially with Ari and Tina.

"Saglit. CR lang ako "

Paalam ko sa kanila.

"Sama! "

Tumayo si Kei at inakbayan ako. She's more sober compared to those two. Hindi madaling tamaan sa alak. Sa maling tao lang, I guess.

"Venn "

I'm not yet done peeing but Kei is already banging the cubicle door. Damn it, can't she just wait?

"Teka! '

I flushed the toiled then went out to wash and take a brief look at myself in the mirror. I ran my fingers through my hair to make it appear with more volume while Kei watched on the side with her arms crossed on her chest.

"Let's go '

Okay. Medyo nahihilo na rin pala ako kaya mas naging maingat ako sa paglakad lalo na at marami rami kaming nakakasalubong palabas sa aisle patungong comfort room.

"Dito tayo "

Paglabas sa madilim na eskinita ay ibang direksyon na sana ang pupuntahan ni Kei kaya naman hinila ko ito. She just laughed and wrapped her right arm on my shoulder again. The lights are definitely blinding at nakakalala pa ito sa kaunting hilo na nararamdaman ko.

"Excuse me, padaan '

Halos balyahin ko na ang mga nakaharang sa daan na hindi tumatabi. Probably because of the booming music kaya hindi nila ako marinig. I was making way for Kei and I when I felt a shiver down my spine. My body numbed so I had to take a pause; every fiber of my muscles tensing up.

Just now, I caught sight of someone at the dark corner of the club, beside where the counter is placed. I want to look again just to make sure that I'm not seeing things but the strength to do so's escaping my system.

"Ven? "

Kei peeked at my face, concerned. Inalis niya ang pagkakaakbay sa akin at kumunot ang noo habang tinitignan ako. I remained still with my fist clenched. Contemplating.

"Ven, you okay? "

Napasabunot ako sa sarili at pumikit nang mariin. Snap out of it!

"Y-yeah. Ayos lang ako. Let's go  "

Although not convinced, hindi niya na ako pinutakte ng tanong at ibinalik na lang ulit ang pagkakaakbay. However, I cannot take it. Bago kami tuluyang makalayo ni Kei ay hindi ko napigilang lingunin ulit ang lugar na iyon.

There he was. Our stares met as I peeped over my shoulder. So quick as if my eyes recognizes his despite the rowdy environment we're in. He is gazing at me, intensively but no expression was present. His eyes resembled mine in many ways. He's wearing a casual fit. A mid sized graphic tee and parachute pants while holding a bottle of beer, probably. Talking to someone but his eyes are on me. Not planning to look elsewhere any second.

Shit. I turned away but his image was stuck in my mind. I had to climb the stairs with wobbly knees, and without it being obvious. Nang makarating sa table ay pabagsak akong naupo sa couch, nanlalata.

"Tagal niyo naman! sayaw na tayo "

As expected, Ari's drunk. Drinking with this woman is quite the nightmare because once she's wasted, it's game over. So hard to wake up and so hard to stop from doing what she wants.

"Okay fine! let's go '

Tina surrendered at her persuasion and stood up after finishing the shot. May tama narin ito pero mas maayos pa naman ang lagay kumpara sa nagyaya sa kaniya. They went down while linking their arms, laughing, and swaying their bodies. Nagpaiwan muna kami ni Kei saglit sa table. Me, I did it because I still can't move on from what I saw. Pakiramdam ko ay binuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig. Kei, I don't know what's with her pero nang makaakyat kami ay parang nag-iba ang timpla niya.

"I hope they won't make a mess "

I sighed while eyeing those two make their way to the dance floor, avoiding that certain area of the club. Ari and Tina are like the same person when it comes to parties but are very different when sober. It's amusing how alcohol could stir up one's system.

"Ayos ka lang? "

Now it's my turn to ask Kei. Hindi naman siya ganito kanina nang makalabas kami sa comfort room.

"Hmm? "

She looked at me with bloodshot eyes, kind of perplexed by my question. I don't know if it's because she's beat from work and studies or it's because of that guy again. Most likely, it's because of that guy again.

"Same old asshole. Hindi pa rin nagbabago "

I knew it.

She was smiling but not out of any pleasing feeling. It's because she cannot believe her own stupidity that all she could do is smile and ridicule herself. Unti unting nawala sa isip ko ang nakita kanina at itinuon ang atensyon sa kaibigan na mas nangangailangan noon.

"Sinabi ko naman na sa'yo. Nothing good will come out of it "

I stated before taking a shot of Smirnoff straight up from the bottle.

"I was being sympathetic with you for the past years because I wanted you to realize it on your own. For you to be able to see your worth and the fact na hindi niya kayang ibigay kung ano ang deserve mo- "

Sobs. Kei's already sobbing though I haven't finished yet.

"-however this time, I want to be rational in giving advices. Lalo na if it is a relationship that involves the three of you guys. I thought, if I can't help you by being gentle and careful with my words, then I must help you by being blunt and harsh. Alam ko naman na mahirap, Kei. But please, subukan mo. Try to let go of him. Let go of it. "

She continued to bawl while covering her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Afterall, that's what we do right? We always try because our pride's higher than the average. Hindi natin kaya na mag back down without putting up a fight first. Now you're done fighting to make him stay. It's time to fight to let him go "

"Yeah you're right "

She agreed with a faint voice. I chuckled , smelling a hint of alcohol in my own breath. Kei's mood lightened after some talk that a few moments later, she's dragging me down to the dance floor. Now how could you refuse a broken hearted friend?

I agreed but only if we'd take numerous shots first. I'll just drink lots of water later to sober up pero sa ngayon, kailangan ko ito para magkaroon ng lakas ng loob na bumaba nang hindi siya iniisip.