Employed by the Big Shot

Risk

You wake up crumpled up like a ball of paper on the kitchen floor. You vacuum in air like your head resurfaced about water in the nick of time, and clutch your chest. Your phone lays beside you with a cracked screen and zero evidence that there was ever a phone call between you and that mysterious thing. You know what you experienced was real, but perhaps it's better for your sanity to pretend it wasn't.

It was, however. It was all too real. At least you have time to decide and do some research before you accept or decline the offer it made. First order of business: can you even survive without a soul? Thankfully, you have access to the answers to most of your questions because of the research and info written about it from your world, or, the 'heaven' Spamton often speaks of.

Without a soul, a human can survive off of determination alone for about twenty four hours, but this varies greatly between individuals. With a replacement human soul, it's likely the subject will be able to live without too many major changes/side effects if their body doesn't reject the transplanted soul. If replaced with a different kind of soul, a monster's to be exact, it's possible to survive, but side effects are unavoidable. These include: Seizures, blood clots, insomnia, abnormal heart rhythms, auditory disturbances, headaches, blindness, difficulty speaking, heightened blood pressure, stroke, nausea, and this list continues on.

This is, obviously, not great news. There's no way for you to get a human soul, and maybe half a chance that being even has a monster soul to trade you. You turn off the computer and furiously rub your eyes. You feel a little stressed. All you wanna do is cuddle up with your partner and forget about it. You realise you've called him partner and expressed love, but still don't officially have the label of 'his partner' yet. Maybe you'll ask him to be yours soon.

A few minutes pass, and you've already mostly forgotten about the strange phone call. You're softly twisting the rings on his hand and syncing your breathing with his. The quiet serenity comes to a close when you hear him sleepily say your name. He squeezes you into him and sniffs the top of your head.

"Argh! Spam!" You wriggle away and smooth your hair, trying to disperse the warmth dusting your cheeks.

He presses himself up and starts sniffing your hair and your cheek and your hair like a crazed puppy dog.

"Stop, stop, stop!" You laugh. "Weirdo! Someone help!" You cry sarcastically, lightly batting him away.

"HaVE YOU BEEN [Up Y-!] L0ng?"

An uncomplicated question to the blind eye, but for you you're finding it unreasonably difficult to answer. You go with "Sort of.". "How're you feeling?"

He nods, "BETTER THAN EVER." And jumps out of bed. You follow him to the kitchen.

"Since that's the case..." You trot a little faster to keep up, then skid in front of him and put your hands together. "Can I take you out tonight?" For some reason, you feel sheepish asking.

"NO." He walks around you.

"What?!" You gawk. You thought it was a possibility he'd suggest another time, but a flat out no?!

"YOU REFUSED MY OFFER, SO I'm GOING TO HAVE [[2]] DECLINE YOURS. SO SORRY." He smirks mischievously. Such an asshole.

"Alright," You can play this game too. "I'm glad, it was only a pity invite. You're no good at gambling anyway."

He perks his head up from his coffee at the word 'gambling'.

"Oh? Are you interested all of a sudden? Shame, I've already decided I'm going alone."

"I SUPPOSE I COULD SPARE A FEW HOURS THIS EVENING..."

"Mh, gonna need more than that."

He sighs. That's right, you think, yield. "YES, I'd LovE TO GO OUT WITH YOU, TONiGHHT."