Sanemi's pov:
I shut the door behind me, sliding down onto the floor as I grasped my head.
When did I become so violent?
When did I become so aggressive?
When the fuck have I become like this?
I could still remember the terror that was in thier eyes, I could still remember the way their bodies trembled, I could still remember their pale faces as they stared at the ground.
The feeling of the kakushis throat in my grasp was still prominent.
I
don't know what the fuck happened, I just snapped and reached for his throat.
But why did I do it?
Why? Why the fuck am I like this?
I felt relief when the kakushi caught me but I panicked since I didn't want anyone to see me in this pathetic state. Everything would have turned out fine if I had walked way, but I stayed, I stayed and almost stained my hands with his blood.
I almost fucking killed someone.
Am I becoming like my father?
Am I?
.
.
.
I hope so.
I snickered.
At least he wouldn't feel this shitty. At least he wouldn't be crying, at least he wouldn't be bitching, at least he wouldn't be so weak, at least he would be a man.
"Fuck," I sighed, "guess I'm insane"
3rd person's pov:
The scarred male grinned, snickering and scoffing at himself as he laughed at the revelation.
If only I was stronger, he questioned himself, before staring at the sky.
The lunar moon shone brightly, and the male bathed in the illumination. The gentle breeze that weaved into his room tickled his cheek, whilst the silent chatter of the night rang throughout his room. Sanemi stared at his hands, observing the creases that formed when he clenched his fist.
H
is hands jolted and a pain shot through his body whilst a migraine cackled in his skull. He sighed, not bothering to resist the pain as he knew this feeling all too well.
It was yet another onslaught of horrors that his mind remembered - even down to the insignificant details. He curled up into a ball, resting his head against his knee as he stared at the moonlit floor.
He wondered, would it be a repeat of the memories he always see? Would it be the death of a young boy next? Would it be the massacre of a town? Would it be the slaughter of a mother? Or would it be the heartwrenching sacrifice of a father who did his very best to save his child?
Sanemi smiled.
It's not like it would matter anyways.
He closed his eyes and when he reopened them, he was met with the sight of the tragedy that was playing out. He was a little surprised to see the faces of those two kakushis rather than the lifeless eyes of an adult, and he was even more shocked when he met the familiar eyes of his family.
He sighed softly, and watched the two memories it's vivid horrors. He scoffed, laughing at the idiocy of his situation.
It seems like he's watching a movie - just that it wasn't kid friendly.
Sanemi ran a hand through his hair and watched, praying that his body could at the very least have a small break whilst his conscience enjoyed the damned movies.
...
Have you ever seen a sane lunatic?
Or something similar to it?
Have you ever felt like a Lunatic?
Sanemi smiled.
He sprawled on the wooden floor, blood dripping from his cuts as he enjoyed the warm beam of the moon. He felt insane and lightheaded but the stinging pain from each wound brought him back to reality. He clasped the blade in his hand and held it up to the moon, ignoring the flow of blood that trickled down his arm whilst staining his yukata.
T
he moon was so bright, but he felt hopeless in that bright light. He felt despair and wish to fade into his conscious but the agonizing reality harboured his soul.
He sat upright and placed the blade onto his skin. He pressed the sharp metal in and pulled swiftly, hissing at the pain which dribbled out of his wound. The lunar light illuminated the blood and sanemi gazed at it, keeping silent whilst he dipped a finger into the crimson. He glanced at the small droplets of red that stained the floor, not bothering to clean it since no one enters his room. He made it this way, to prevent any kakushis from going into his room since they might see things which worry them. He sighed, wiping off the excess blood which coated the blade onto his yukata before standing up and grunting as he felt a nausea spell wash over him. He staggered towards his bathroom, legs falling limp whilst his body rocked with pain. It was tiring, but he can't let anyone else see the blood, he can't let them know he wasn't okay.
He can't.
He must be like his father.
Sanemi stared at his bloodied hands and felt a water droplet hit his palm, he froze in confusion when a few more rained down onto his hands before the realization hits. He stumbled towards the mirror and laughed when he saw his own face - the once tanned skin of his was looking a little whiter than normal but the eyebags under his eyes were very dark. Blood smears were all over his face and they gathered near his eyes, whilst tears trickled down his cheeks.
"What a handsome bastard," he laughed.
It seems like he has finally gone crazy.
...
YOU ARE READING
What A Simple Mask Could Do - sanegiyuu angst
Fanfic----------------------------------------------------------------- 「A story where the wind hashira meets a mysterious man who always wore a mask 」 "Thank you for crying for me," it read. The limp and lifeless body of his was a dull grey, but the smi...
