Found my world in a small town | Winrina

Chapter 13- Homophobic to Just Homo

Minjeong did not know where she would have to start with 'talking' so she just waited and stared at Jimin. The other girl kneaded her hands and stared at her lap for a little while before looking up at Minjeong. There were tears in her eyes.

"I'm a lesbian," she confessed, "and you're the first person to know."

Even though this was more than just a little surprising to her, Minjeong merely nodded and gave Jimin a reassuring smile and a nod while she waited for her to continue. Jimin paused for a moment and then took a deep breath. When she spoke up again, the tears had left her eyes and it was very audible in her strained voice that she was desperately trying not to cry.

"I've known for some years now," she continued, "I figured it out quite early despite the... efforts of my parents to keep me away from... things like that."

Suddenly, the conversation they had in the bus made a lot more sense to Minjeong. 'I really want to' she had said when Minejong suggested standing up for LGBTQ+ people; 'I'm just... scared'.

"You mean...?"

Jimin nodded miserably.

"They're homophobic," she said, "not the worst kind. I don't think they'd kick me out or send me to conversion therapy or some cruel shit like that. But... it would really put a strain on our relationship. That's why I want to leave as soon as I can. So I can be free. So I can be myself."

"Speaking of relationships," Minjeong remembered, "what about Jaemin?"

"I love Jaemin, I really do," Jimin smiled a sad smile, "but only as a friend. He's... I guess you could call him my beard. He's a great guy, he's just..."

She fell silent.

"A dude?" Minjeong offered and Jimin nodded.

"It would break his heart if he knew," she sighed heavily and then looked up again, "he doesn't know. None of my friends do. As I said, you're the first person I've ever told about my sexuality."

"I'm very grateful that you trust me enough to tell me," Minjeong offered some reassurance. She knew how important it was to make the other person feel like their coming out was appreciated by the person they had just told. Jimin smiled again through her tears but this time it seemed a little relieved.

"I'm sorry for lying about all this," Jimin gestured between Minjeong and herself.

"All of this?" Minjeong echoed, mimicking Jimin's hand movement, "What do you mean?"

Jimin's face took on a startled expression, as if she had just realized she shouldn't have said anything at all. Minjeong knew pressuring Jimin would not get her anywhere, so she patted the mattress next to her and waited until the other girl had taken the spot. Jimin immediately hugged her knees to her chest, she looked a lot smaller than she usually did. They sat in silence for a little while, Minjeong's gaze lingered on Jimin attentively. Finally, Jimin began to speak without looking up.

"I-i lied to you... about a lot of things."

It was obvious that this confession took her a lot of courage and was not easy for her.

"I..." Jimin inhaled sharply and wiped over her eyes, "I don't even know where to start so that it doesn't get all confusing and chaotic."

"I don't mind that," Minjeong said gently, "just talk to me, I'll listen. And if I don't understand something, I'll just ask, okay?"

Jimin nodded and wiped her eyes again, her head still hanging down.

"Growing up, I was always very open with my parents, we had a great relationship," she recounted, "I grew up relatively sheltered and didn't know about gay couples for the longest time. I think I was thirteen when I saw two women kissing in the town and pointed it out to my parents with childlike innocence. My mom just grabbed my arm and pulled me away and then she said something like 'don't look at that, it's disgusting'."