The silence|| Daryl Dixon

13

Daryl's pov
She's told me who did it. Besides her prick uncle. Tomas raped her too. They held the others at knife point and made them watch. Big tiny got cut bad trying to help her. She ain't the same. Trauma like that changes a person. Of course it does but she's barely here. She's healed up within the days. I try to be here and talk and be what she needs but she's pushin me away in a way. Like she still lays in bed with me on the perch. She still lets me hold her and be affectionate. She's been leaving. She's gone before a i wake and returns after I pass out reluctantly from wanting to stay awake. There are days that she stays here but she disappears a lot. Leavin me to anxiously wait to see if she'd return or not. Either because she just decides not to or because a walker got the best of her out there.

Tomas has caused issue. I told Rick what he had done to my girl. He told me we gotta play it smart. She already killed one of their own despite who he was. I'm gonna kill that fuckin prick one way or another. He raped her. I've already beaten his fuckin face in when she told me. He's made disgusting comments about her. Gloating about what he's done and even had the nerve of asking where she was so he can have her again. I beat his ass and wasn't gonna stop. It took Rick, T dog, Glenn, a now one legged Hershel, and even Carl to get me off of him. In time Rick said. In time.

I snap out of my thoughts hearing everyone quiet. I look and see why. Dexter is back. Covered in blood. It's even dripping from her hair. Her eyes cold. I approach her and touch her face wiping some blood off as I caress it "what the hell happened to ye? Are ye hurt?" My eyes worried. There's so much blood I wouldn't even be able to tell if any of it is hers. She tosses a bag I didn't notice "I cleared the armory and another cell block." She says.

She tells me her eyes that's warmed a bit looking at me "I'm fine" but she ain't. She ain't been fine since I met her and it's gotten worse since her assault. Rick asks "and you did it alone?" She nods "I had time" I speak "but no plan. You didn't even tell us you were goin or that ye were even leavin Dex." "I had a plan" she tells me and adds "I also got a map in there" "by all means tell me this plan ye had" I huff. I get it.

She's trying to escape. I would too. But throwing herself into constant danger isn't the answer. She needs help and refuses to see it or say it. I've been tryin. We all have. Maggie and Hershel and Beth tryin sets her off considering their past. "Kill all the walkers and get what I need and go" she lists. I sign annoyed and I see she doesn't exactly like the fact she's been talkin this much in front of everyone you coulda been killed and I'd have had no idea

But I wasn't she signs back giving me a thankful look at me knowin what she needs. You could've been! You leave and sometimes ye don't even come back
She replies I just need to get away yeah I know but I want her to want to get away with me. To fully rely on me. To use me as the crutch she needs to fully heal and get better emotionally and mentally. And I've been tryin to be here and help but she hardly even lets me. Why do you feel the need to do it without me? When we found you...and after. I swore I'd help you get through this. That we'd do it together. But you've been pushin me away. Is it me? Did I do somethin?

I hear Glenn "what are they saying?" But he's ignored it's not you Daryl. It's me. Sounds cheesy but it is. I'm the broken one. I can't be here anymore Daryl. Not when...I just can't. I've been trying. But being here just...makes me feel worse than I already do. So yes I leave and take my time away so I can breathe. I come back because you...you're my home Daryl. She hates being here because this is where it happened. Fuck. This is supposed to be her home. The place she finds safety in and they ruined it. I sign back and you're my home too. And you've been gone. Suffering without me. Suffering alone. You don't have to be alone anymore

She eyes everyone and takes my wrist and takes me outside to the watch tower "I'm sorry" she says. I tell her "don't be. I understand why. But you left me to sit and wonder if you're even alive most days dex..." "why is he still breathing?" Looking over and seeing Tomas a bit away on the yard. I say "ye see his face?" She chuckles "that was you I bet" "bet yer ass it was. But Rick said he'd get what's comin to him soon. He's tryin to soothe that group in case they might get pissed about you killin him" I tell her. She tells me "I just...can't be here. And if I am I just...gotta go sometimes" I turn her to me "if ye gotta go...then take me with ye. We're a team. We're doin this together" she nods and I take her to the showers. and I hesitate and she nods and I help her rid of her clothes and rid of mine and I clean her and she smiles and does the same for me and I kiss her softly. I mutter "don't leave me" "never again" she promises me