Hyunjin centric one-shots

Giveaways are a sign

A huge trigger warning for this one

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If your mental health is fragile, please don't read this.
Take a moment instead and listen to some calming music.

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The truth is Hyunjin is tired.
He has been tired for a while actually.
No, not physically... mentally.

He really hoped for things to get better.
He believed he would get better, he would overcome these disturbing thoughts about himself, he would finally be confident again... but every time he was almost fine everything would go downhill once again.

Since young actually, way before his debut he almost knew this would be the way he would die. He was aware his death would be a painful, tragic  one, a death that would be discussed for a long time.
The question is... did he want that? No.
He just wished for his body to have been a home to a younger soul because honestly his soul felt as if it had lived since forever trapped in the body of a young energetic  human; it could only be described as unfair.

There wasn't anything that triggered his spiral really. Maybe, some situations have pushed him to his limits but they were not the cause of this.
For sure it didn't feel good to be shouted at because of sloppy dancing or being given one or two lines because his voice just didn't sound good and of course it sucked when suddenly Felix stopped talking to him and Chan became more distant and Minho also stopped caring about him the way he used to and Jisung started arguing with him again. But this was not anyone's fault. It really wasn't, today however... this was the final straw, the moment Jeongin, kind Jeingin started shouting at him he knew this was game over. He just had to wait for a week to tidy up the mess he would leave behind.

.

"Hyunjin, I haven't seen you so happy and cheerful since... I don't know when."

"Yes Changbin. I think you should engrave this look in your mind."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see."

.

"Hyunjin!"

"I know. I'll stop messing up Minho, yes sure. I got it."

.

"Hyunjin you see-"

"No, it's okay I get it. It's only fair for me to only get two lines."

.

"Chan? Can I pretty please use the recording studio for a little bit at night?"

"Why?"

"Please Chan... it's a surprise you'll love."

.

"Hyunjin, can I please borrow your ps5? I swear to use it only temporarily, me and Felix want to-"

"Jeongin just keep it really. I know how much you love it, you can have it."

"For free? Nothing in exchange?"

"Yes, nothing. We're all good."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes... go play!"

.

"Seungmo?"

"Ugh, what, I told you already, I am not taking you out with me!"

"No-"

"Go away."

"Okay... I just wanted you to have my sunglasses and my plushie. I love them but I think you are going to need them and love them more. Have fun with your friends."