Off The Air

Cold Open

"Congratulations!" Stephen says greeting you as you've been promoted to head writer. "I can't wait to see what you bring to the table I mean your ideas have been great!" "Thank you sir." you say nervously. "How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to call me sir? Loosen up a bit c'mon, you've been working here for 5 years and you have a life changing promotion." He says putting his hand on your shoulder and looking deeper into your eyes. "You're a funny person, and you definitely deserve this y/n." He leaves your new office, leaving you smiling at the fact that that's the closest interaction you've ever had with him. Usually when you would interact, it was to turn in an assignment or idea. He laughed at your ideas, in a good way of course. He had a lot of faith in you, most of the ideas he took were yours, but never once did he make eye contact with you. He's a busy man, you understand that.

The new season of the show is getting ready to debut, you walk in Stephen's office with the script. "Hey sir- uh- Stephen." you say trying to control the shaking in your voice. "That sounds better, also isn't it a little early to be handing in the script?" He asks "Slow news day." you reply. "Yea I've been watching it too, it's making me miss watergate." You both laugh at the idea. "Ok well-" you say about to exit the office, then Stephen stops you. "Hey can I ask you a question?" This is something he's never said to you before, so you're quite curious. "Sure" you really. "Why are you always so nervous around me?" He's caught you. There's a surprised shock going through your body. "What do you mean?" you reply. "You're just always tense. Whether it's handing me a script or pitching ideas... is it something I did?" He says seeming a bit sad. "No no never Stephen! I'm sorry if I made you feel like you'd done something wrong." You say as you get closer to him. "I was just wondering because I know you don't stutter when you're on that stage." He says looking back at the tv in his office. "You've seen my shows?" You say in a shocked manner. "Yea, I love your shows. I hope one day you leave this place and get your own TV show. Just come back here so I can interview you." "That's very kind Stephen." You say in return. "Well I gotta get ready for dress rehearsal, I just needed you to know that. Promise me you won't be so tense around me." "I promise" you say exiting the room.

At night, while you wait for the show to come on, you write in your diary about Stephen. You've had an unhealthy crush on him since you were 13 watching "The Colbert Report". Working for him was a dream come true, but this unhealthy obsession is the reason you're single. Living in a 2 bedroom apartment in Manhattan. But today was different from the other days in your journal. Mostly you would write about things you saw him do around the office, and sexual desires you had for him. But today you had your first alone interaction with him. As you watch the monologue, you listen for the dirty jokes you put in there. Just to hear him say it. You loved writing dirty jokes for him, safe in the knowledge that he doesn't know who's writing them.