Sexy Pornstar || Kim Taehyung ✓

28.0

Taehyung's POV

The maids clean my room while the doctor patches my arm for the countless number of times in the past few days. He leaves the room and Uncle Hwan approaches me. "Young master, I found this from downstairs." He says, passing me the ring box which I threw at Y/n. I scoff when Uncle speaks,

"Please, young master. Change your clothes and have some food. You're starving for four days." He says and I look at him. Jimin's words play in my mind.

"So suffer by living a life without her."

I close my eyes and stand up from the bed, passing by Uncle Hwan to walk inside my closet. I enter it and stand in front of the section where her things were still kept there neatly. I squeeze my eyes shut to reduce the pain in my chest but turn to the other section to take my clothes out.

I open the cupboard but frown when I see a turned-over present. I frown, taking it out but two letters fall down along with it. I bend down, groaning in pain because my whole body is aching. I sigh, standing up straight.

I pull the bowstring that was holding the gift wrapper in place. I unwrap it and throw the wrapper on the floor, slowly turning the canvas but a gasp escapes my lips when I see the painting.

A painting of Y/n and I together, on the bed, under the covers. Our hands locked together, legs slightly protruding from the covers with the biggest smiles on our faces. Not only red, black, and white paint was used on the canvas, but it has all sorts of colours in them. The light also has a different tone while falling on our skins. But that was her art. She had always been talented.

I trail my fingers on the panting and cry silently, sniffing to myself when I hold the letters up. I keep them on the drawing and read them.

"To my Sexy Pornstar,

I drew you in my diary. The first man I drew that wasn't from my imagination. It was you. Now I am writing you in my lines because I want to be your girl. Even though you aren't meant to be mine. Ever since I met you, you were always in my mind.

I drew you in my dairy secretly, knowing that you don't love me, it brought pain to my chest. But I endured it because at the end of the day, even if you didn't like me, your body would eventually say otherwise. Your touch, care, and kisses would say otherwise. That was enough for me.

I drew you in my diary all the time when my heart was racing while my mind was blank. In my dreams, you love me. I drew my dreams. This one is one of them. I spent the longest time drawing this one. My dream. When I told you how much I love you and you replied with how much more you love me back. We smiled and laughed. No lust. No desire. Just pure love.

I drew you in my diary telling myself that my soul is yours. You support me so much and lighten all my thoughts, emotions, and dark memories. But for you, I am nothing more than,

Your client."

I just numbly stare at the words with no emotions on my face. My chest is heavy and I feel dead. I feel regret, guilt, and agony creeping up inside me for making her feel so cheap with me. And now even it is so tragic if I think about it to think that there was someone so perfect for me and yet I made her leave my life.

Why was I so stupid to think that by this kind of relationship, we will be together forever? Why did I think that without me telling her I love you, she will still stay with me? Because I took her I love you for granted.

Now, even that one person who loved me is gone.

For my foolishness.

"To Taehyung,

Happy Birthday to you. When you will be reading this letter, I think I will be gone. But I loved you a lot, Taehyung. You were the first love in my life. And like they say, first love always ends up failing.

I guess this was it. You never liked me. But I liked you. I wished every day to go back to the simpler times when I didn't know you and my heart was just mine. You were never mine to lose, but I lost you every time you stayed silent at my confessions. It hurts to know that you will never look at me the way I look at you.

So now I have decided, to just look away. Stay happy and learn to love someone, Taehyung. And this time, tell her along with showing her how much she means to you. I wish you the best in your life.

From,

Park Y/n."

She loved me unconditionally but I made her lose her last hope in me. I sob but smile while looking at her words. I stare at the painting in my hand and then trace the letters with my fingers.

"This heart will only love you, darling," I say, smiling and crying as I grip the letters in my hand and turn back to the bed, walking towards it. I smile and plop into the bed, hugging the painting close to myself and mumbling,

"You can look away from me but I will stand wherever you're looking at, to be in your vision again."

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Let's go, people. Time to jump to the future~