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Y/n's POV

I keep the spoon in the empty bowl but hear a small clap beside me. I smile and turn to Taehyung who smiles and winks at me.

"Look, you did it," he cheers, looking like a mother who just watched her kid finish her first meal by herself. He stands up and walks away. I roll my eyes at the clock which reads 10:13. I gasp, covering my mouth, and stare at Taehyung who is busy throwing the used tissues in the dustbin with a sour expression.

"Taehyung," I call out and he looks at me, raising his eyebrows questioningly. "Don't tell me I have been eating a bowl of carbonara for three hours," I say and he shrugs.

"Is that important? You ate without throwing up. That's what matters. It means you can actually do it. Eat slowly, no problem. Better chewing, better digestion. Keep up this attitude in the future," he says, giving me a thumbs up and I am in awe at his efforts.

"You sat beside me all along?"

"Yes, I love watching a cow chew," he says with a smirk, approaching me and I glare at him playfully. "I'll kill you," I mutter through gritted teeth and he smiles before sliding the kitchen knife on the table towards me.

"Pleasure is all mine," he says and my jaw drops at his words. "You're crazy," I comment while shaking my head but he holds my arms, pulling me up to make me stand and I do.

"Be comfy. Take off those heels," he says and I look down at my pumps. I take them off, leaving them beside the chair and Taehyung removes his socks and jacket. My eyes widen at the unexpected undressing and I turn my attention away from him towards something else in the room. He grabs my hand and guides me upstairs.

I giggle, feeling his fingers tickle my waist but let him lead me toward a room that's not his bedroom. He makes me stand in front of it before reaching out to the doorknob and opening it.

I feel him push me inside gently as I let the view sink in. This empty room is filled with the paintings on the wall that I made when I was with Taehyung at his home. I notice the colors that I drew. Red and black in the beginning of the paintings but then it gradually shifted to a variation of colours. White, purple, green, yellow, orange, blue, pink, and many more. Most of them were figures of women and men, some were scenery and the rest were an abstract mixture of both. The signatures that I left on the paintings.

Song Y/n

Not SinCity.

I trail my fingers on my signature and slowly turn around to look at all the drawings. I can't believe I made so many drawings in just two months. But I did. These paintings look so full of emotion. I don't paint like this anymore.

Just blank, void sceneries and abstract art. I want to draw like this again. It makes me happy but I want to show the world who I am, not what Namjoon thinks the world expects me to be. I want to be myself like I was before.

I want to be happy.

Taehyung kept these paintings here and wants me to realize that I am more than just SinCity. I totally understand that. I am Song Y/n. I smile before taking my hands back from the painting and taking a deep breath, looking down at the ground.

My eyes trail down to the red and black hair in front of my shoulder. I use my fingers and push them back, shutting my eyes in frustration. I turn around and take a glance at Taehyung standing fronting a painting. I tried to peek at it but he had his hands inside his pockets, folded and spread wide, blocking the view, his back facing me.

I slowly scrub my bare foot towards him with a smile on my face but it fades away when I see the painting.

My last gift to him.

The painting I made of us under the covers. It was a scene I wanted to capture with my colours and I am glad that I was able to do that. I smile, looking at it, and turn my head to see Taehyung admiring the picture with a smile but tears soaking his features. 

I look at him in concern and move close to him, holding his arm. He drops his arms on the side and turns to me. "I am sorry, Y/n. I made you like this. You wanted to be with me but I pushed you away. I really am an asshole." He says, wiping his tears and I frown, pulling him against my body as I hug him, leaning my face against his chest.

He bends forth, resting his chin on my shoulder while I wrap my arms around his waist, he does the same. "Please don't hurt yourself, Y/n. You are hurting us all. Jimin, Jungkook, Jennie. All. Please, take care of yourselves. They love you." He says as I feel warm tears on my bare shoulders. He's crying.

"And you?"

"I do," he replies. "Say it then."

"I can't," he rasps, sniffing.

"Will you let your mother scare you throughout your life?" I ask and he pulls back, staring at me in shock, eyes red, eyebrows furrowing in anger and he clenches his jaws as he digs his fingers on my arm. I look at him blankly.

"Yoongi told you that?" I push his hands away from me and sigh deeply, shaking my head. "No, I met Hoseok. He told me that he was your therapist. I had to find out why did you visit the therapist so I sneaked into his office and read your file." I lie so that this fumed man doesn't kill Hoseok for snitching on him.

He fists his hands, giving me the most dangerous stare, and suddenly raises his hand, pushing me back. I stagger backward and fall to the ground with a scream. He steps forward and points his finger at me.

"You shouldn't know about my past! No one should!" He hollers, crying miserably but still giving me a look of rage. "Why? Don't you think of me as someone special?" I shout back at him, glaring at him. His brows droop down and he gulps hard. 

"You are the most special that's why you should never know!" He wails. "Why?" I yell.

"Because I fucking love you. And it triggers my core memory to say that! Like you get triggered when you look at food! It's the same for me, Song Y/n!"

**************

I had a bad day :(  very rough day. I hate today. I really do. I immensely hate today. 

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