The Seventh Step

5

I wake to a bright light shining in through the window. I feel happy until I remember the evening before. The tears fall yet again. I curl my fingers underneath the pillow and hide my face in the cotton folds. The salty tears soon soak the pillow, but I don't care. The door opens and I hear hurried footsteps leading up to the bed
"Jess, dear, what's wrong" my grandmother asks in a hushed voice
"Mum" I lie and she stays silent. "Leo's downstairs" she says finally "would you like me to send him up?"
The pillow holds me tight but I leave it. My grandmothers eyes seam colder than usual. "Um.. I'll come and get him when I'm changed" I sniff. My grandmothers eyes turn warmer and she smiles and nods before backing out of the door. The bed covers hold me close. They make me feel safe. They make me feel like they did when I was little, like if I have them on no one can hurt me.
The cold air hits my body as I walk out of bed.
I grab a pair of skinny jeans and a sweater and ram them on before running down the stairs to see Leo standing against the door. He looks at me and smiles. His eyes seam empty and lost. I run to him and hug him tight.
"What's up" I whisper in his ear, which I have to stand on tiptoes to reach. Leo shakes his head and takes my hand.
"Your wonderful grandmother has given me the greatest idea on what to do today" he says before taking my wrist and leading me out of the door. He opens his car door for me and I sit. The car is small and blue. It smells of many unpleasant things which Leo has obviously learnt to block out. "Oh the smell? Blame my mum"
He laughs and I laugh with him. We drive for ten minuets in utter silence before Leo leans over to me and whispers "close your eyes"
I do so obediently and he takes my hand. We carry one for another few minuets until the car stops .
"open your eyes"
I smile and do so. Sitting I front of us is three bedroom house which I dislike to call my own.
"No" I say finally "I'm not going to let you inside"
"Tough" Leo smirks waving a set of keys in my face. He walks forward and I follow, jumping for the key he dangles above his head. He laughs at my feeble attempts and soon I give up.
The lock slides away and Leo pushes the door open. I walk I front and flick on a light switch. The house is illuminated and shines bright upon the empty bottles lying on the staircase.
Leo takes my hand and I lead him forward.
"Right" he says sternly "let's tidy this place up"
He whips a few bin bags out of his pocket and flourishes on I front on me.
"You take up stairs and I'll tackle down here"
I nod and beam at him. He smiles back and starts picking up rubbish from the floor.
The stairs feel familiar under my feet. Since mum died, I have been scared that if I go downstairs, I will get a bottle chucked at my head again. I scared that if I go downstairs, I will step on glass. I scared that I will get shouted at, hurt. I'm scared of my own father and as much I try, there's nothing I can do about it.
We clean separately for a while before I need a new bin bag. I walk into the dining room . "Leo" I call. No answer.
"Leo!" I call again louder.
I hear the clattering of glass in The kitchen.
I find Leo on the floor leaning on the counter. His eyes are red and his cheeks shiny with tears.
"Leo!" I gasp
He stays still, staring at the door.
He glances at me then at the door.
I slide down and sit next to him
"What's wrong" I whisper
Leo breaths in deeply and closes his beautiful hands over his face.
"I can't do it any more!" He yells and chucks a peice of sharp glass across the room.
"Leo, what's wrong? What happened?"
Leo sucks in a long string of air before he says quietly "Last night, my dad got drunk. He and his friends came back to our place."
Leo gasps and another waterfall of slaty tears come streaming down his perfect face.
"They hurt me Jess" he sobs.
I slowly reach down and gently pull up his sleeve. His skin is slashed and broken.
Leo shakes his head and lifts up his shirt, exposing his back. His back, like his arm, is slashed and bloody.
"I can't do it any more, Jess, I can't act brave, I can't laugh it of. I can't live with it. And even though most of my scars are in my heart, I want them to be visible because people tend to pay more attention to those"
"Leo" I sigh as a tear trickles down his already soaking cheek.
"Leo, I love you" I whisper. I feel his mouth smile
"I know you do" he says, still smiling "I love you to"
I grin "that's good otherwise that would of been totally akward."
Leo chuckles and takes my hand. we sit there for hours talking and fiddling with shards of glass.