Spring Break Fever: Rosé

Chapter 11: Epilogue

After you eventually calmed down and tamed your rare burst of emotions, you and Rosé sat at the table hand-in-hand to talk. You had held all of those built-up feelings in for so long that it understandably took you a while to get them all out and recover from it. She just held you and helped you through it as best as she could, letting you take your time with it.

And then they talked.

"You know the day of the storm when we got in a fight, and I started drinking? And you found me, and we talked, and I told you all of that stupid personal stuff?" You asked, looking down at your hand in hers. "I...lied about not remembering it. I remembered all of it, I was just humiliated and scared, and I didn't want things to be weird when we woke up. I was embarrassed because I've never opened up that way before, and I did with you. And that really, really terrified me—no matter how careless I acted about it."

And then you had gone on to talk about how you had already been "sort of" attracted to her before the trip, which was why you tried to avoid seeing her without her shirt on, and why you also pretended none of the kissing or touching affected you—because it actually did. Rosé was somehow shocked by that even after you told her your feelings. You then went on to admit that after kissing her, you felt different and mistook your genuine feelings for physical attraction.

"I eventually realized I wanted you, but because I had never really cared for someone that way, I thought I only wanted you in the physical sense—not the romantic one. And every time we kissed, or touched, or pretended to be together, it all just got harder and harder. I thought having sex would cure it all like it always did, and I thought it would make all those weird feelings disappear. But it didn't work," You gulped, shaking your head. You didn't make eye contact throughout this entire confession, but she kept her eyes on you while yours were glued to the table. "After having sex with those random people and dulling the pain for a while, I would leave and never talk to them again because it's all I ever wanted with them. But it was different with you. After we had sex, I wanted more. Not just more sex—although, you know, that too—just...more. More touching and being close, and at first, I stupidly thought that all of it meant we could have this friends-with-benefits thing, which would fix it, but somewhere deep down, I knew it wouldn't. Because that, for once, wasn't the only thing I wanted from someone I just had sex with."

Rosé squeezed your hand and rubbed her thumb across your knuckle in encouragement. She's still in shock.

"And when you confessed how you felt that morning...I was so angry. I was angry because I didn't know how to react, didn't know what to feel, and still hadn't fully realized exactly what was going on yet, and you saying that threw me off. And it bothered me because I...I was so mean to you, and you were still good to me despite that. Even when I didn't deserve it." You shook your head, laughing and gulping. "In the ocean the last night when you didn't want me, I was really hurt. I didn't think I would be, and it wasn't some ego thing, I just...I didn't know how to react, and I threw a fit like some annoying kid. But it wasn't because I didn't get sex from you— it was because I realized then that I wanted you to want me. And then after all of that, and after turning me down again, you confessed you were in love with me? I couldn't understand how you could possibly want me after the awful things I had done to you. It didn't make sense, and I was confused. I...still am."

"It's only because I knew all of the things you had said and done were ways you were coping, okay? I knew you didn't mean them. I knew you needed someone who wouldn't give up because of something like that." Rosé replied, and you turned to look at her finally.

You had kissed her then, and she felt your full, unwavering sincerity in it, which is something she never thought she would get from you. And then they went in her room, pulled each other close, and finally got a good night's rest for the first time in weeks.