People I Love ❤

Jaxon (@stxner)

Usually i have a lot of things to say when I write about someone that is close to me.

Right now, my mind is completely blank.

Jaxon,

there really aren't any words to describe you.

You mean an awful lot to me and I'm not just saying that. I feel like we have been through quite a bit and you've earned my trust.

There are parts of me that tell me that I shouldn't let you in. And that I shouldn't tell you anything personal about my life.

I know there are moments where we both have our downfalls. You obviously can tell when something is wrong with me. You always somehow know when I'm upset. Even when I don't want you to find out.

Yes, I do think you're crazy and bonkers.

Yes, I do believe that you are weird and imperfect with your flaws.

But, that's part of the reason why I think I've opened up to you. It's because you're you and never have I seen a person who I can relate to and not have to pretend not to be myself.

Jaxon, I don't think you're fucked up. I really truly don't. You are far from it. I know you have been through a lot. I can't imagine what that would be like to experience those things.

When I say something, I keep my word. It's your choice to believe me or not but I'm here for you. I won't ever leave okay.

Every time we talk, it makes me smile. I'm really picky with everything and when it comes to us talking, it's just the little things that you say that make me smile.

You were there for me when I was going through relationship problems. You made me realize that what I had wasn't what I deserved. I never really felt happy. I was too scared to do anything for awhile so I decided to just stay put. I didn't really think about myself I guess.

You always know how to lighten the mood up when I'm feeling down. And the moments where you are quiet and just there next to me, it means a lot more to me than you could ever know.

I have seen many sides of you. And I just don't know why but I love all of them. When you are wasted and high, you are so annoying. It drives me insane. When you are happy, it just puts this smile on my face that never goes away. When you are sad and upset, it gets me thinking of why people like you deserve to even be sad. It makes me upset knowing there are things that are eating up inside you. It pains me to see that happening to you.

I still think it's your fault that you made me get my hand stitched. But hospitals and doctors and needles are one of my biggest fears. I don't know how you managed to distract me so easily. And I also can not believe that you sat on me out of all options. But thanks anyway.

And I don't know what you are doing but somehow you are making me lower my guards down. I'm scared of that. I did that once. I let go of everything and didn't have a care in the world and that ended up terribly. I really don't want to be hurt again. But then there's the part of me that trusts you. You aren't so bad as you say you are.

Ugh I'm getting all gross about this, I'm sorry. I guess once I started writing, one thing came after another.

I probably am freaking you out with all of this so I will stay quiet. I'm just thankful to have a person like you in my life and I would do anything to keep it this way.

I don't want to ever lose you. The greatest moment between us would be when u made that promise. I hope u meant it.

I also want you to know that no matter how crazy u get and such. I will still be here. I won't leave you. After all,

I'm Alice.

And you're Cheshire.

Keep on smiling well at least try to. For me please. I don't want wrinkles on your forehead.

P.s. I think tilly suits me. Sadly, I've gotten used to it.