WILL LIAM

EPISODE 16

I WAS in my head all through the ride, "It's all my fault, I did it again. Going to the stupid bar while he was dying. Who was I kidding? I failed him just like I failed mom." I hoped it was all in my head and not saying all that to Liam. "He had one request and I friggin' couldn't do it."

I almost jumped out of the car when the hospital came to view, Liam had to stop and let me go before finding a parking spot.

I could feel it when I walked into the hospital, I could feel death, like I could feel Parker's soul walking past me, like I could hear him calling me in the corners of the hospital as I got closer to his room.

I heard Leah's cries, even before I opened the door. She sat on the couch, sobbing into dad's shirt, gripping him with the last of her strength.

Parker lay on the bed, doctor Gray beside him, looking down at him solemnly. His eyes were closed as usual, only this time, he wasn't breathing and I knew he wouldn't be opening them again. He wouldn't be twitching his lips in that foolish coy smile. I wish he'd just shot his eyes open and yell 'Prank. Got you.' but that was just wistful thinking.

I should've been there, should've held his hand as I did now unconsciously, when he took his last breath. Should've let him hear me call Leah mom, just once. Instead I ran, like he said 'Always running away.'

Please wake up, just this once, let you hear it. Please just once. I begged but knew he wasn't going to.

I was sitting in the waiting room just like the day he'd fallen on the court. I wasn't crying, wasn't yelling or shaking, just sitting with Liam holding me just like then. Only, Parker had just been sleeping, only I had thoughts that day, but now, I was numb. My mind registering nothing but one sentence, 'It's all my fault.' It rang in my mind over and over again as I watched Parker being wheeled away to the morgue.

I guess I auto piloted through the rest cause when I came to it, I was lying in bed, a familiar bed. It was Liam's, smelled of him and that was when I cried, cried my heart out. The feelings, everything came rushing in and it was overwhelming, I couldn't contain it.

I'd cry myself to sleep, wake up and repeat the process, only a few times when Liam came in with food and water asking the same question over again, "Are you okay?" I'd nod but I knew, and he knew, I wasn't.

When my tears dried up and couldn't form in my eyes anymore, I lay stoic staring at the ceiling connecting the lines and the dots and each time Parker's cheerful face would pop up and I was breaking over again.

"Why am I here?" I asked when Liam came back in, holding a tray of food as always.

He sat on the bed close to me,his eyes on mine and filled with worry, "Your dad let me take you. Cause you asked for it." He placed a hand on his forehead and the other on mine and huffed, "Good, you don't have a fever."

"I did? He did? No questions asked?" I couldn't remember asking to go home with him but was more surprised dad let me go with him.

He shook his head, picking up the tray he'd placed on the bed to my laps, "None. I did tell him we were friends but I think he knows about our relationship."

I actually wanted to laugh at that. There was no relationship because I wasn't making it one. Ruins should really be my middle name.

He scooped a spoonful of porridge, blew on it and brought it to my lips, "Here eat and maybe try to feel better." He crooned, I wasn't feeling up to eating so I opened my mouth to protest, almost like reading my mind, he shoved the spoon into my mouth, "Even if you don't want to."