Remember Me

2

"Hen, wake up."

The voice that I knew so well flooded into my unconscious mind, bringing me back from my favourite state of nothingness, to my least favourite state of reality.

I hadn't had any dreams, as of late. In fact, I can't remember the last time I dreamt of anything. When I fell asleep, I was greeted by only the lapse of time in which I was completely unaware.

And, I wasn't complaining. In fact, I preferred it.

I forced my tired eyes open, the daylight streaming into my vision. I knew already that it wasn't morning. It was closer to evening. I knew that because I hadn't fallen asleep until 7 am.

I looked around my messy room, ignoring the piles of clothes on the ground and the hoard of water bottles beside my bed.

I was looking for the face where the voice that woke me came from. I found it quickly enough. Though, I wasn't surprised to find who was staring back at me. I already knew from that god-awful nickname.

"Zane," I said groggily, the trace of sleep sounding from my throat. "Stop calling me that."

Zane's eyes, which had been looking at me with a speck of concern and a dash of inquiry, turned lighter. He let a laugh leave his lips, shaking his head as he did so.

"No," he told me, as I sat up in my bed, pushing the blankets away from me. "I've been calling you that for years."

"And I've told you to stop calling me that for years," I reminded him, watching as he pushed a pile of clothes off the chair opposite me. "Hen,"
I repeated the nickname. "A hen is a literal chicken."

Zane laughed again, "I guess. But I'm still calling you that."

I rolled my eyes, but then I couldn't help but start to laugh with him. Zane could be annoying as ever, but he was still my favourite person alive.

He was one of the only reasons that I was still here, instead of permanently drifting around in my favourite state of nothingness.

"How are you?" He asked me, and though he wore a smile that held memories of his laugh, his eyes still looked at me with concern.

I knew that he was finally started to get it. He was finally starting to understand that something was really wrong with me.

And, he was right of course. Something was really wrong with me. Something was really wrong with my brain. My brain had gone dark.

It used to be colourful. It used to have rainbows and sunsets and hues that changed colour the longer you looked at it.

Now it was dark. And maybe not yet black, but a chilling dark blue.

But, he didn't have anything to worry about. I was still holding on. For now.

"Tired," I told him, tilting my head towards my bed. "Still tired, I should say, thanks to you."

"Well, what are you doing sleeping at 3 in the afternoon, anyway?" Zane asked me.

"I stayed up late last night," I told him, omitting that fact that I had stayed up later than just last night, instead well into today.

"What were you up to?" He asked, looking at me like he was trying to see if I would lie to him or not.

The problem is that me and Zane, we were past that point. Zane used to be able to tell when I was lying, but not anymore. I had advanced past that.

I could lie to anyone, about anything.

I just couldn't lie to myself, not anymore.

"I was here," I lied to him effortlessly. "Playing video games. My mom didn't want me going anywhere."