Shade in the Sun

Chapter 2

Gaurav dropped Sreeja a few messages, but she wouldn't respond. After weeks of persistent effort, she agreed to meet him. She did come, but it was as if she wasn't even there. Most of the time she was looking at her phone and replying to texts. Gaurav did notice that, but he didn't come with too much expectation. He was happy to see her again.

"He is like Amol Palekar marinated with Venkatesh and fried with Manoj Kumar," Sreeja exclaimed in anger.

"Well, how is that a bad thing," replied her aunt. "Your uncle was a simple man too and I loved being with him."

"You are from the 80s, Bua, that might have been a craze then. I can't live my life with such a man".

"Give him some time, you might start liking him eventually."

"Don't make me like him, Bua." She left the room.

She kept meeting Gaurav for some time at her aunt's persuasion. She started talking to him now, but that didn't change much. She found him to be a good man, but couldn't get the feeling of liking him.

"It can't happen, Gaurav," Sreeja said.

"Why? We have been dating for 6 months now."

"MEETING, not dating!"

"You don't like meeting me?"

"I like meeting you, but I don't like you!"

"Ohh.."

" I am sorry. I didn't mean to say that. It's just that I don't like you enough to marry you. I feel safe with you Gaurav, but that's not enough."

"Is it that you don't want to marry at all?"

"I am not saying that."

"Is there someone else?"

"I am not saying that either."

"Then what are you saying? If you are saying anything at all..."

"I don't have time for this interrogation," she grumbled and got up to leave.

"At least say you'll think about it."

"It's not that I haven't given it a thought, Gaurav. It just cannot happen."

She walked away with his eyes on her.

They didn't meet for a couple of weeks. She was surprised that she didn't miss him. But some things did change. There were no flowers, no messages, no surprise dates. She knew she just had to get back to the old routine to fill this void. Gradually, the days started getting normal. Partying, Long drives, shopping, more partying. Everything was like the old times.

–x–

It was three months since Gaurav had proposed to her. She did have thoughts about him now and then, but she would always shut them off. Avantika had given up, but it was like someone was listening to her prayers.

One of Sreeja's friends got married. Then another one. Her circle was getting smaller. This was good enough a hint of what was to happen. The seed was sown.

Days started getting lonelier and nights darker. She would sob then sleep, then wake up and repeat. She wasn't sure of what she wanted. She didn't want to take any step that would later hurt her or Gaurav. She dropped the idea of going to her aunt given her bias towards the idea of marriage.

She would either avoid her aunt's calls or cut them short. Avantika realized that something wasn't right with her. She knew asking her directly about it would not help. So, she decided to crash at her place for a couple of days. Though she was avoiding Avantika, her emotional turmoil was killing her. Her aunt's company could be useful, she thought.

On her second night at Sreeja's, Avantika heard her sobbing. She knocked and entered her room. Sreeja was coiled in her bed, in tears. Avantika could not see her little girl like this. She went up to her and took her in her arms. No one had hugged her in a long time.

"Don't you talk about marriage now," Sreeja said. "I Won't," Avantika assured her.

She told Avantika about her feelings. It relaxed her a bit. "Sreeja dear, do you want me to talk to him?" Avantika asked finding the right moment. Sreeja didn't say anything for a while. Then she lifted her face from her aunt's lap and looked at her. The water in her eyes wanted to come out as much as the words in her mouth. Avantika smiled at her and hugged her tightly.

Gaurav agreed to the marriage knowing she didn't love him and might never. Soon after their marriage, Gaurav got a new job and they moved to Bangalore.