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Synopsis: Miles suffering in silence about his identity as Spiderman warnings: mild language, mentions of death, mentions of injury, angst, just Miles wanting to protect those he loves wc:1k Bolded words: lyrics from song
Miles snuck into his room, head throbbing after his most recent fight. It was bad; recently his fights have gotten more physical, more dangerous, and with more danger came more risks. Risks no one but him could know about; Miles loves his job as Spiderman but it weighs down on him to keep it a secret. Especially now, he's tired of the constant lying but its the only thing he can do—after all he's The Spiderman he can take it.
Plus, Miles had business to attend to. So after splashing his face with some water in an attempt to freshen up, he was off, ready to eat dinner. "Miles! What we're you doing? You went MIA on us!" Said Rio as she examined her son's face for any signs of injury; "mom I'm fine, promise." He replied shaking her hands off him, " 'Kay then, is Y/n still coming over for that movie?" She asked. Right, Miles completely forgot. His mind too preoccupied with his Spiderman problem to even think about you or the arrangement you two agreed to, "yeah" was all he said in reply which earned him confused glances from both his parents as he ate dinner. Miles wasn't the most impatient person ever, so of course he had no problem just waiting around until you arrived knocking on the door to his room "Y/n, you actually made it" he said as you entered the room; "yeah.. why wouldn't I?" You said looking at him confused. The fact he was dazed about something was obvious, but you wouldn't comment about it yet; instead just taking a silent note of it. You leaned into Miles' shoulder as you two watched a movie on his laptop but while you watched the movie, Miles was too preoccupied in his own world. Miles' brain was moving 100 words per minute, with thoughts overcrowding his head. He couldn't silence his thoughts, specifically the ones urging him to tell you everything—from the bite to now; His thoughts yelled at him. Tell 'em. Tell 'em. Tell 'em. Tell them you're— "Miles, you ok?" You asked putting a hand on his shoulder, quickly snapping him out of his thoughts. "Uh yeah. I'm fine, just a little tired" He confessed, he wasn't entirely lying; but he wasn't telling the complete truth either. Could he tell you? Impossible he'd never burden you with that, knowing his secret would only bring you pain, it'd only put you in danger. Uncle Aaron and the Peter Parker of his universe were testaments to that, constant reminders of what can happen if you get too close the the truth. And he could never risk that, he loved you too much to ever do that. He quickly unpaused the movie trying to get his thoughts off that possibility but every now and then a thought creeped it's way into his head saying: Tell Them the truth. But he tried his best getting through the movie, occasionally glancing towards you with "Maybe" being all he thinks. Finally the movie ended and you definitely wanted to get to the bottom of his aloof behavior, "Miles,.. Mírame, what's wrong?" You grabbed his face so he'd look at you and after a long while of silence "it's nothing." Was all Miles replied, "the fuck you mean? You're not acting like it's 'nothing'." you said, mocking his response "it is nothing. Stop pressing it Y/n" he said raising his voice at the end of it. "Fine ok, I'll stop bothering you" you turned your back at him, deciding to compose yourself before continuing; "Miles, I love you—truly you can tell me anything that's bothering you.." you said, reaching out and holding his hand you went and planted a kiss on his cheek, you weren't gonna press Miles further. Eventually leaning his forehead against yours Miles stared into your eyes "I'm ok, you don't ever need to worry about me" he said pulling you into a deep hug, you didn't know how much he just wanted to scream out to you and his parents that HEis Spiderman that HE needs support that he can't bear the burden anymore. But he stays silent, I've been goin' through somethin' But that something that's affecting him can't possibly be shared casually, he'd scare you away; being SpiderMan's girl obviously came with its risks, risks he wouldn't wish upon anyone. He had to think, Miles needed to be alone for a while and truly reflect. "I'm really tired" Miles told you with an awkward smile hoping you'd get the hint. "Oh! Ok Miles, take care" you bid him goodbye, sneaking a glance at him—something was definitely up but you finally decided to leave him alone. Miles taking the opportunity to think about how he should tell you, if he even will. Taking off his shirt, Miles stared at himself in the mirror. Scars and bruises adorning almost every inch of his body, some of the injuries were still fresh—tender to the touch. this was the part of the job that he hates; when the adrenaline finally wears off and he's left like this, hurt and with nobody to turn to. Would you get it? Would you still like him even with all the extra baggage? He didn't really know, and Miles was too scared to try and find out. So Miles decided to do the one thing he truly knows how; He slipped on his suit as he looked down to the city he'd sworn to protect as he thought to himself. Y/n will understand—right? "Nah" he finally told himself, nobody could, and he's been handling just fine without anyone knowing the truth. So he finally slipped on his mask before jumping out the window, into Brooklyns night sky; Be afraid.
A/N: i was listening to Kendrick Lamar when the idea for this popped into my head😭
