break. | namjin

taking hits for you

it didn't even surprised him anymore.

"seokjin?" namjoon got up, accidentally spilling the cocaine on the floor. he noticed it only when seokjin didn't meet his eyes and rather focused on the floor.

he messily attempted to hide it by stepping on it, "seokjin! i thought you were going to be home a little late?"

seokjin still stared emptily at where the powder was.

for the past few months, he had given no care to other people – not even himself – except for namjoon.

"boss said i should go home early. to fix myself."

he's also been a regular to their boss' office because of how his performance at work not being up to par to his performance before.

"he was also asking when you are going to stop only going to the bar once or twice a week. yoongi's even looking for you."

"well- i'm just resting, you know? i- i just need some space-"

seokjin finally came to his senses and walked away, ignoring namjoon's rambling and went to their kitchen.

he saw a paper envelope left open on their countertop table.

"namjoon, what's this?" seokjin grabbed the envelope and looked at it.

"it's the uh- apartment rent, i think?"

seokjin looked at namjoon then at the paper again, "but, it's way past due."

namjoon swept the floor clean and answered seokjin, "really?"

"what kind of answer is that? 'really'?" seokjin scoffed and held the envelope tightly on his hand in an attempt to suppress his irritation, causing for it to be crumpled.

"this is to be taken seriously, alright? be thankful that they're still not kicking us out of here." seokjin put down both of his hands on the counter and continued, "you don't go to work anymore so you can't really help me with this, the only thing you can do while snorting your fucking cocaine is to at least remind me the due date of the rent!" he stormed off, still holding the paper in his hand.

namjoon tried to approach seokjin but was met with the door closing on his face.

seokjin's anger quickly dissolved into tears that he cried silently against the bedroom floor.

"i should have not said that." seokjin said under his breath, immediately regretting the weight of his own words.

he stared immensely at the floor, letting his hazy mind to clear and to think.

he stayed like that for a few minutes, picking the skin off of his fingers as a stray tear fell off from his eye against his will.

amongst the fog of thoughts that came to blur his sense of mind, an idea – a memory – knocked him out of his trance.

he went to grab his bag from under the bed and filled it with his clothes and other important things.

seokjin walked out of the room, keeping himself composed even with the doubts of leaving lingering in his mind.

upon seeing namjoon still stuck in the endless cycle he has turned a blind eye to, his doubts of leaving in fear of namjoon still having the chance to change for the better had left his mind.

seokjin placed the last traces of him in the form of paper bills on the coffee table both of them had built – refusing to look at the eyes that once were filled with determination and fondness.

with no words spoken between them, both had understood the decision each other already had.

the other decided to stay.

while the other wanted to get away - to be free.

but, he also wanted to stay.

he really did.