Papi

12

Things with ceaser and his friends were okay , still tense at times but they were okay , and Olivia's quincea was coming up , her 16th birthday. The only problem right now was latrell, who had put him on gun point when he was on a walk with monse , trying to get things in her head that she wasn't even trying to understand, mainly his relationship with Carlos , and now carlos was pissed off , and keeping ceaser close by , not even letting him go to school or out of his sight at all , but ceaser didn't like being cooped up , and he did have a math test that day for school , but the moment he tried to leave the aminios , even with the looks he was given when he passed a few guys , he ended up pinned against the door , the door he had just opened being slammed shut and a body being pressed against his back , and people inside who lived here or were just there started to laugh or cackle at the scene
" where do you think your going ", it was carlos , of course it was carlos who was pinning him up against the door , and he definitely felt and smelt like carlos , damn , all he could do was sigh as he banged his head against the door before he was spun around, and Carlos's sculptured face was glaring down at him with intense eyes , making him feel small and helpless as soon as he looked at him, and all he could do was open and close his mouth , not really knowing what to say or how to formulate words with Carlos looking at him like that , he looked so pissed off and it was directed at him , it's never been directed at him , hard gazes or anything negative was never really put in his direction ,and it made him feel small , so small, and nothing , and Carlos must have noticed it , he didn't know how but he did and his anger seemed to fizzle down a bit , his harsh gaze softening along with his jaw unhinging slightly as he sighed
"What are you doing ", Carlos raises a brow , his voice strained , sounding like he was holding the anger from his voice and ceaser winced, looking down and at the small gap of space between their bodies
" math test", ceaser mumbles under his breathe , not even looking at Carlos's face as he spoke almost too quiet to be heard , and he sees Carlos's jaw clenched out of the corner of his eye , and he flinched when he slams his hand against the door
" fucking math test ", Carlos yells out , banging against the door once more , and ceaser finally looks up to his face , but he didn't want to look in his eyes and see the anger aimed at him , he never wanted it to be aimed at him , it made him sick to his stomach . Reaching up hesitantly, he cups Carlos's face in his hands , a slight tremor to them and looks to Carlos's eyes , but he wasn't looking at him , he was glaring at the door he was pushed up against
" hey ", ceaser mutters , tilting Carlos's face to his and trying to make him look at him
" hey , I'm sorry , okay ", ceaser swallows thickly after he spoke , he wasn't going to cry , no , definitely not , he couldn't cry , but Carlos definitely noticed and his jaw went slack , leaning into ceasers touch and leaning forward to connect their foreheads , their noses bumping together as he sighed , his hands finding their way to hold ceasers waist , and he's pulled up , the tap on his thigh making him wrap his legs around Carlos's hips and then Carlos is walking to his room with ceaser in his arms , and ceaer tucks his head into the crook of Carlos's neck , not wanting to see the looks on others faces as they pass or he just wasn't in the mood , who knew . Moments later he's being placed on the matress of Carlos's bed and Carlos is crouching down in front of him , rubbing his forehead in what seemed to be frustration before looking up to ceaser , his gaze soft and ceaser bites his lip as he looks down at him , he feels sick and uneasy , sick to his stomach with an uncomfortable feeling , it was stupid , he didn't even care about the math test , he just , he just felt claustrophobic and trapped for not being able to go out , he didn't mean to make Carlos angry , or scared , or to feel this way
" baby , look , you can't go out , it's not safe for you right now , I know it might seem like I'm controlling you , but I just don't want to lose you , I can't lose you , okay ", Carlos frowns , and ceaser tears up at his words , sniffing and wipes a hand under his eyes as he looks away for a moment with teary eyes , his lip trembling and he tries to swallow it back , and Carlos cups his face , making him look down to him , his own eyes welled up with emotion , like he couldn't even bare the thought let alone ceaser actually being in any harms way
" just wait until me or oascar can figure something out, I need you safe , I need you to be okay , just-please , please do this for me , okay ", Carlos says in almost a whisper , his voice so soft and quiet it made ceaser choke back a cry , but he still nods , a small jerk of the head was all he could do
" y-yeah , okay ", ceaser breathes out , his voice trembling and a chocked sob falls from his lips , leaning forward and wrapping his arms around carlos neck tightly when he opens his arms to him , in a guesture and cradles him to his chest as ceaser starts to cry , but still tries to hold back his sobs or noises, he was still half on the bed and head above Carlos's , his head tucked into his neck
"Yo-your not angry anymore , are you , please don't be mad at me ", ceaser chocked out under his breathe , leaning back slightly to wipe his tears with one hand and look at Carlos's face , and Carlos cups his cheeks , wiping his wet cheeks and the tears that were still falling from his eyes every time he blinked
" I was never mad at you , I could never be , I was just scared , I was angry at my self , okay , amor ", his words were soothing , and he nodded mutely , tucking his head back into Carlos's neck and sliding off the edge of the bed so he was on top of him , and Carlos rubs his back , starting to rock him in his lap
" I don't want you to be angry with yourself either ", ceaser croaks out sadly , voice quiet , and Carlos hums , kissing the side of his head softly
" okay , whatever you want , amor ", Carlos mutters , still rocking him as if he were a baby and continues to rub his back despite him no longer crying , and after a few minutes , he leans back to kiss Carlos's lips , saying the things he can't convey in that kiss , thankyou for looking after me , for caring , for being scared , for protecting me , for loving me , and sorry , sorry for everything else , the meaningless argument with useless tears and sorry that he was too sensitive , sorry for burdening him with his negative feelings , and I love you , I love you so much it hurts and consumes me entirely ......it was all in that kiss , it was soft and Carlos's lips were warm , it was a comforting thing to feel Carlos's lips against his , it wasn't lustful or something that would go further than just a kiss , it was just a kiss , but so much more, just a kiss to convey all her couldn't say right now , and Carlos knew that , he knew he knew that