To Be Home.

6.

Living on the streets is hard but at this point I've done it for a little over a year now. It's warm right now. I have my own tent with my own things and I bought it myself with money I earned just from being young and homeless in a tourist town. I moved to the next city over only because I was reported as a missing child.
The cops almost got me once.
It was two weeks after that night, I was wondering around and found myself in front of the house. It was completely lit up. I knew who it had to be, I knew it was Grandma and that made my heart hurt. She was alone now. But I was alone too, and I couldn't go back. Suddenly there was a shadow in the window, looking right at me. I froze because I knew she could see me, besides what other 5'3 little girl was standing outside the house looking all dirty and distressed. The figure bolted toward the door and in that moment I became possessed. Some horrible demon that never wanted me to see light was pulling me.. No. Pushing me away. Into the street and down the road. It was pushing me until I heard sirens and seen lights. Flashes of red and blue. I thought my life was over. They would find out that I killed a man when I did not have to. Hitting him with the bottle was enough for an escape.
I wanted to kill him.
That in itself is enough for me to be locked up in the loony bin for life.
I managed to run into the woods and hide until I thought I was safe. I left town that night. The police were on high alert but I learned the area well in my short time there.

Thoughts of that night and the night my mother was murdered consume me. But I'm to move on and I've made a friend, Quinn. He's nineteen and has been homeless since he was 16. Last week he disappeared. I woke up to a beautiful rosewood knife by my side and I haven't seen him since then.

I'm sitting here in the dark, engrossed in thoughts of what could've happened to Quinn, and how different things could've happened with Mom. Until I get pulled out of my thoughts. I hear a man screaming, I can't make out much because he sounds drunk and completely out of it. He sounds just like Stark. I start to spiral thinking of what would happen if he wasn't dead. If he saw me.

But I have to know if it's him.
I grab my knife and slowly stand up and stick my head out of the tent. It's dark and I'm  camped between two large buildings in a shadier part of town. I'm terrified but I have to continue anyway. I see a man and a woman right on the sidewalk about 30 feet in front of me. The man is big and radiating a cocky and arrogant energy, but the girl is small. No more than three inches taller than me. She looks clean and proper. She's dressed in a small white shirt with a light pink jacket, her jeans are light blue and she has all white shoes.
It's the average daddy's money, trust fund, yacht vacation, country club outfit.
He on the other hand is dressed like a carpenter. He has dark jeans and a dark red
t-shirt with a hole at the neckline and one on his sleeve. I grip the knife harder and begin to climb out of the tent for a better look. Finally I get a look of his face and now i'm sure that this definitely is not him. I start to crouch back into my tent. Right when i'm almost in there he turns his head to me. "Hey! What the fuck is your problem, man?" He starts walking up to me and the woman follows behind him, grabbing his shirt and trying her best to pull him away. I sit frozen for a second. I've had problems with other people since I've lived on the street but I've always had Quinn to solve them for me. But he's not here anymore, and this man is drunk off his ass.
"Are you fucking deaf? I'm talking to you!"
He's yelling louder.
"C'mon just leave her alone." I hear the woman whisper to him. I have to fight this one on my own. I'm sixteen now and I will have to defend myself again. I swallow my nerves.
"Excuse me?" I said trying my best not to sound nervous. "Why are you acting like you're not screaming on the street in the middle of the night." I had all of my confidence, and some now. I have nothing to lose. If he kills me right now he will only save me from having to suffer more than I have.
But i'm not going without a fight.
I squeeze the knife. I've killed before.

And I'll do it again if I have to.