Unkept Promises

All, too not fine

Abhiram's POV

"And you still have the audacity to ask for forgiveness when you were the one who had resorted to hurling all disrespect my way.", her hold on my collar was now loosening and it seemed as though she was giving up, both literally and metaphorically. Or had she already given up now?

I hope not, although I deserve all of it, every reaction of hers.

"What did I do wrong Abhi? What did I do wrong that you did not find it in yourself to trust me even once? To even listen to me once? Where did I fall short? Where did I fail Abhi that you had to rely on a third person's judgement about me to even consider my side of the things? Where did I fail that you had to wait for the truth to be exposed to understand that none of it was ever my fault? Batao mujhe Abhi. I am tired now.", the exhaustion had seeped in through her words and I felt a punch in my gut listening to her broken voice.

(Batao mujhe - Tell me)

What had I done to my gorgeous Avi? My lack of trust in her had destroyed her, destroyed the foundation of our love, destroyed our home. And honestly, Kinjal's malice was not to blame for this, it was just a precursor, what destroyed us was me - the hard headed, impulsive, distrusting jerk that I am.

Her knees buckled as she had uttered that last sentence and she might have fallen down had I not held her tight within my hold. But it seemed as though it was too late for me to even hold on to her. Had I done so earlier, we would not have stood at these crossroads in our life.

"Nothing Avi, please do not say this. You have done nothing wrong, you have failed nowhere. Its me. Its all on me. I have disappointed you being a pathetic example of a husband. Please do not say this Avi. You could never fail me.", I tried to assure what was left of us - both her and me, maybe she needed that assurance more or maybe it was me. I do not know. But these words were not going to make much of a difference now - what had transpired between us because of me, was far too grave to be erased or to be even jolted or moved by these words - no matter how sincere they were.

"No use Abhiram. What should I do of your words now?", she had slipped out of my embrace and seemed to have clamed down, but I could sense the immense turmoil of emotions in her mind. I could see right through her pretense.

"Please tell me Avi, what should I do now? What should I do to make all of this right?", my voice was a whisper.

"What all are you going to make right Abhiram? What all are you going to repair? Please tell me if there's some way you could repair my broken trust. If you could uncover that love amongst us which you had so mercilessly buried. If you could just erase all those months of immense anguish and longing. If you could make me believe in yourself yet again. Tell me.", she stated.

I did not know what to say, how to respond, because I did not have those answers. No amount of measures now could simply take away the hurt and pain she had felt.

"No answers right?", she turned to leave.

"Please do not leave Avi.", I quickly took ahold of her arm in panic.

"Who said I am? We have decided to stay together for Aaru - your words, or else you would have divorced me that day itself, again, your words. And I love my child more than anything to see him suffer without both of his parents.", she replied with a cynical smile.

Those words - Divorce? How could I ever bring myself to utter those wretched words that day? I simply cannot fathom the bitterness I had spewed that day and every other following day.

"Avi, us?", was the only thing I could utter.

"Us? What's even left Abhiram? You have already destroyed whatever it was, and despite of my efforts to salvage, it collapsed - all of what we had managed to build all these years.", she shook her head.