Unkept Promises

Immense Regret

Avantika's POV

We were quiet.

There was silence in between us, but it was not uncomfortable.

It had been nearly three days since after that last decisive session, and we were still reeling under its after-effects. What we had discussed, or more like Abhiram and Dr. Godbole had discussed, and what I had heard, what she had concluded, and what had been the reason. I was processing things, understanding my own emotions, and him, he seemed a bit more lost than I was.

I shouldn't say lost, because I wasn't - I found it alright to digest Dr. Godbole's words. Our mind sometimes surprises us in an unexpected manner. Mine was quite co-operative and supportive in this entire ordeal. I could not say the same about Abhiram though.

Not only had he been working from home since these three days, but that Abhiram who would find it easy to focus on his work and get things done in time, now found it difficult to even gather his thoughts before delegating tasks to his assistant. He seemed engrossed in thoughts most of the times, and when he would not be doing that, I found him gazing at me with pure guilt in his eyes.

And despite of all of this not being uncomfortable for me, it was concerning - the way he's been after that session, because Abhiram has never been this distorted - quite distanced from his surroundings, in a farther place.

Aaru too must have felt something wrong with his dadda, since my little boy did not leave even a single opportunity of trying to make his dadda smile.

Jumping onto his dadda's lap, and narrating his cute shenanigans, all his cute antics - it did make him smile, but I knew better than to believe in that smile - it was stretched, farther from any sign of happiness. He was far too distressed.

Each night since after the session, when he would assume that I had slept off I would feel him approaching me. I pretended to be asleep when I would feel his lips alighting on my forehead and staying there for a long period. He would mutter a quiet, but genuine 'Sorry'. Even that quietest of all the whispers easily let one know the extent of regret he feels, how sorrowful he is.

As much as it pained to see my Abhi like this, I was unsure of the way to console him, and if I would be even able to console him considering an exodus of insecurities which had made their home in my mind following that session and what it had revealed. I wasn't overwhelmed with all the emotions, but I certainly needed some calmness, some peace, and some moments of solace.

It was a Sunday, and since I did not have anything urgent to work on, I was sat with Aaru where the two of us were coloring in his Cinderella coloring book. He had very graciously handed over Cinderella's evil step sisters for me to paint, and he himself was engrossed his painting the Prince's castle.

"No momma, use red color.", he snatched away the green crayon from my hand replacing it with the red one.

"As you wish Prince Aaru.", I replied dramatically, making him giggle.

My sweet baby and his precious smiles.

I felt Abhiram approaching us, the fresh scent of his bodywash invading my nose before he arrived in front of us. Ruffling Aaru's hair, he sat down and kissed the side of our baby's head. Aaru too was quick to lean into his dadda's warmth. I looked up from the book to have his glance, when I found him staring straight at me.

He seemed okay today - that's how I would state it, not too distanced or distracted, seemingly controlled than what he had been in the past three days.

"Aaru, baby I want to speak with your momma for sometime. Should I take her out with me now, in our living room? Till then, will you complete this whole painting for me, hmm?", he had placed Aaru on his lap and asked him in the most gentle tone.