Retracing The Steps (English Version) DRTS#2

Chapter 5

He left

I watched as he placed his cellphone on the bedside drawer. It seemed like he felt my gaze on him, so he turned to look at me.

"Any problem, love?" he asked.

I shook my head. I didn't really have one. I was just wondering if he would sleep here. Because... I don't think I'll be able to sleep if that's the case. If he does, it would be the first time I would be sleeping next to him.

"Uh... are you going to the office?" I asked uncertainly.

He pressed his lips together and nodded.

"I need to check our business. I've neglected it a bit because of the hospital."

I nodded in understanding. I adjusted the blanket on my body.

"Okay then. I'll go to sleep," I bid him goodbye.

He kept his gaze on me for a while, but eventually nodded.

I covered my head with the blanket so he wouldn't see me. The truth is, it's awkward for me to spend the night in this house with him. I'm not used to it. I have no experience with this!

He's so used to coming home almost at midnight. I'm already asleep by then. I only catch a glimpse of him when I wake up in the morning, but he leaves right away. We've never had a normal encounter as husband and wife. I find it really difficult to act accordingly!

I removed the pillow from my head as I couldn't get enough air. I looked around the room and saw that it was quiet again. He was gone.

I won't sleep with him again. We never shared intimacy like a normal couple should. We don't make love. Sometimes, I wonder how he can handle it. He is a man! It's impossible for me to believe that his body doesn't yearn for it. That's why I can't stop myself from thinking that maybe he has someone in Manila!

Why does he want me to stay here while he's there almost all the time? He never kisses me! It's not normal for married couples not to do that unless they're in an arranged marriage or they have a problem.

A man won't initiate if he has someone to fulfill his needs! What about us? It has been months!

I tossed and turned in bed, unable to find sleep. I looked at the clock on our bedside table. It was already ten o'clock. I couldn't sleep because of these pointless thoughts.

I sat up and sighed. I drank the glass of milk that my husband himself prepared, but even now, I still couldn't feel sleepy. I didn't even sleep well this afternoon because Troi invited me to go to the grocery store to buy some things we needed at home.

How come I still can't sleep?! I slept just fine last night!

I stood up and walked towards the window, pulling back the curtain. I opened one of the sliding windows and let the fresh air in.

I stood up and decided to take off the white dress I was wearing. I wasn't wearing a bra, only my underwear. I wasn't worried about being seen in this state by Troi. Firstly, I'm his wife, and secondly, he doesn't come back to our room when he goes out. He stays in his office until morning.

I decided to pull out my underwear too. I feel more comfortable that way. I followed suit and turned off the air conditioner. This should be good. Hopefully, I can finally get some sleep.

I turned off the lampshade and finally settled myself in bed. Luckily, sleep paid me a visit. The breeze wasn't too strong, so I didn't feel the need for a blanket. It felt like only now did I realize the exhaustion from walking around the grocery store.